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Walking the walk Archives

Wednesday, October 9, 2002

God's values

Today seems to be the day for surprises via the Internet. I checked into my site and found a note from a girl called Belle in my guestbook. She said she'd chanced upon my blog and has been reading it...

Thursday, November 7, 2002

Waiting

I can稚 believe I left a book out of yesterday痴 list! How could I ever forget a book on waiting?!! LOL So, I have A Time To Wait: Biblical Insights On Trusting God痴 Timing, by Liz Morris, a slim paperback...

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

God is not a neurotic parent

I wore a Mr Funny T-shirt to work today (see pic). When I bought the T-shirt, it appealed to my whimsical sense of humour. I'd have bought Miss Funny if they'd had it. Failing that, I settled for Mr Funny....

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Materialism's lure

I've been doing quite a bit of blog-surfing. I know there's a lot of posts today, but I'm on leave from tomorrow till the weekend, so I think I must be subconsciously trying to make up for the future lack...

Thursday, December 12, 2002

Passion

Last night I read Untimely.org's pithy post on the Bobble Head Jesus. Their conclusion?You know, if someone were to market the Bobble Head Muhammad, they'd probably become the victim of road rage.This really struck me. See, Islam is the national...

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Oh, it's YOU again

Just the other night, I was talking to Bob about not being perfect. Actually, I was having an attack of the blahs and he was trying valiantly to get me out of it. I, however, was not cooperating. I can...

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

A redeemed red-letter day

Today has been one of those days. You know, when everything seems to go wrong from start to finish. My friend (Madelyn) called first thing in the morning, telling me she needed my share of deposits and rental for the...

Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Desiring discipline

I spoke to the chief tenant last night. Yes, I may stay on till Jan 15, and I don't even need to pay her rent – she said she'll just deduct the sum off my deposit. Cool stuff. Tomorrow is...

Friday, January 3, 2003

God speaks

On (almost) the same subject as the post below: I like the idea of having things on record. Maybe that's why I'm a writer. And two nights ago, I discovered a little notebook, one of those zillions that I'd bought...

Saturday, January 4, 2003

Autobiography

This morning, 5am She wrote down words of encouragement in a little card, then sealed the envelope. She knew from experience what a difference a few words could make. With secret glee she planned, anticiplating the joy those words might...

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

The frightened little girl

I've been away from the computer for a few days, supposedly resting and recuperating. Only that's not too easy to do when I see boxes around me every time I open my eyes. *groan* On the upside, I've just ordered...

Friday, March 14, 2003

Man-made rules

Blogger has been giving me problems all day over the past two days. I've tried and tried to post, but the moment I hit "Post & publish" I get 403 error messages in both frames, and the post doesn't go...

Sunday, March 23, 2003

The week that was

I'd rate my week a 9 out of 10 on the "week greatness" scale; 1 being you absolutely don't even want to hear what happened in my week, and 10 being splendiferous. Nothing to do with work, although I had...

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Insular worries

Quite recently I met up with a new group of Christians - we're supposed to have a sort of Bible study once a month. We were all strangers before this Bible study thing brought us together. It's a one-year programme...

Monday, April 7, 2003

Giving God the dream

Rachel Cunliffe writes about getting itchy feet, the urge to travel. I began to comment on her blog, then my comment got so long that I decided to post it on mine rather than hijack her comments section! That way,...

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

Plucking out bitterness

Two days ago, blogs4God directed me to Ken Pierpont's article, Help Or Harm, on the power of the tongue to bless or curse. After reading the article, I fired off an email to Ken:Just an observation - you wrote, towards...

Sunday, April 13, 2003

Note from a good day

I have good days and I have bad days. Yesterday was a good day - today was OK, until now, in the night, when I am struggling with old demons. It is midnight and already many tears have been shed;...

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

It's all about the journey

I've been looking through some old journals lately. When I was 17, my pastor led a group of us youths in the Navigator's 2:7 Bible study course. It was this course that taught me how to journal. We were encouraged...

Monday, May 12, 2003

A lesson in extending grace

On Saturday night, I had dinner with Janelle. After dinner, we headed to a bistro to listen to some live music. There are two major "happening" hang-out places in town: Bangsar and Desa Sri Hartamas. Both have their share of...

Monday, June 2, 2003

Tithing

There's been some discussion on tithing (giving 10% of one's income to God) going on at The Gutless Pacifist, Post-Modern Pilgrim, and Next Reformation. I was going to comment on Pen's entry last week, but didn't have time. When it...

Thursday, June 5, 2003

Still on tithing

Still thinking about tithing. I'm struggling with the concept of robbing God and the idea of God as a Father. It's something along the lines of what Mac Swift said in the comments:If a church member is suffering financial hardship,...

Monday, July 14, 2003

Getting "there"

This is appropriate, after agonising about trying to change. My life is a mess. After forty-five years of trying to follow Jesus, I keep losing him in the crowded busyness of my life. I know Jesus is there, somewhere, but...

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Yeah, that sin problem

It's 3:40am, and I'm tired, but I have stuff to do, which I'm obviously not doing, since I'm blogging. I have just done something I ought not to have done, and in trying not to keep doing it I am...

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Just one thing

I came away from the camp with one main thing. This doesn't usually happen — sometimes I feel like I have so much stuff floating in my brain. But this time, one thing really struck me, and stuck. It was...

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Convoluted 2am mental meanderings

Dear God, I'm writing this to You coz I might not pray otherwise. You know I've hardly said much to You over the past few weeks except all the 'token prayers' like, "Thank You Jesus for the food in Jesus'...

Friday, December 5, 2003

That pesky 10%

You know, you'd think all the stuff you've written gets buried in obscurity under the newer stuff, but Google does a pretty good job of keeping it alive. I recently got a new comment on an old post I wrote...

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Adore Him

For two years now I've made it a practice to prayerfully think over my life at the end of the year, and, instead of making a New Year's Resolution, I make a commitment to God concerning some aspect of my...

Wednesday, January 7, 2004

Hearing His heartbeat

Mac Swift recently wrote about charity, which forcefully reminded me of something buried in the recesses of my mind & heart. In May 2001, when I was still in college, the World Evangelical Fellowship (now known as the World Evangelical...

Monday, January 12, 2004

New policy

Yesterday morning when I was at church service, singing, God started talking to me about living an integrated life. In particular, He pointed out the similarity between the words "integrated" and "integrity". Now, if you are fascinated by words &...

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Problematic prayer

Scott asks whether we should pray over and over again for the same thing: If we lift one or more things up to God one time, isn't that enough for Him to know what are needs are? What difference does...

Friday, February 27, 2004

Bummed out

Months ago, I told my housemate Adeline that the music I'm listening to -- or not listening to -- is frequently indicative of my current spiritual condition. When things are not going well in my walk with God, my CD...

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Holy desperation

One night last week, a few friends gathered for dinner to celebrate Lady Snoflek's birthday. Over the food, one of them started telling us about growth, and the search for that spiritual "something more": "It's like I move a step...

Sunday, April 4, 2004

Talking method

I've always secretly believed I suck at prayer, so when Messy Christian said she sucks at prayer I could SO identify with that. I hear of people praying for hours and I wonder, don't they run out of things to...

Friday, April 9, 2004

Just as I am

Do you ever listen to yourself when you pray? I do. It can be a little distracting -- just like when I read my own words as I write: suddenly some things don't seem to make as much sense as...

Monday, April 12, 2004

Being "spiritual"

When I wrote about the spooky incident at our house a few weeks ago, Joel's comment left me smiling ruefully: P.S. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to see God's hand in this. Be safe. In truth, I'm not one to...

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Changing attitudes

I received some distressing news last week. This news came as a shock to me. Suddenly the person's voice seemed to come from a great distance: my attention turned inward and stilled, watchfully waiting. I held my breath. But the...

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

"Unforgivable"

With all the outcry over Nirmala Bonat's case (the case of the abused 19-year-old Indonesian maid), I wonder... I wonder whether there is a place for forgiveness. Everybody is saying that what the employer's wife did to Nirmala is unforgivable....

Monday, May 31, 2004

Measured thoughts

So, I am an idiot, but I knew that already. I just don't like having witnesses. *wince* Note to self: Don't blog when feeling angry. It wasn't till I saw the comments on my last post that I realised exactly...

Thursday, June 3, 2004

Resolved & reconciled

The problem with doing stupid things is that they always come back to haunt me. So, after admitting that I was wrong to blog about the incident without first speaking with the writer in question, I started imagining... what if...

Saturday, June 12, 2004

A lesson from Ruth

Lady Snoflek and I met up this afternoon to do the last installment of our Bible study on the book of Ruth. Yep, that Bible study we started way back in November! We decided we'd better do it this week...

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Constant rededications

More and more, I'm beginning to find that each Sunday service is a time of rededication for me. I'm discovering that, as I sing, I reaffirm the truths I believe in and long once again to be all that God...

Monday, June 21, 2004

Unconscious faith

It seems that I am always doomed to sit near the wing when I'm on an aeroplane. Humph. Anyway, as I was looking out at the wing, wishing it weren't blocking my view (clouds are so much more interesting), I...

Friday, June 25, 2004

Manipulating God

Over at Can You Hear Me Now, Clarence has been exploring the purpose behind fasting, and how we sometimes seem to use fasting as a way to manipulate God. Now, I've always gotten the impression that if you particularly want...

Wednesday, August 4, 2004

EAGC, part I

I think I'm gonna stop worrying about writing a coherent & comprehensive account of the East Asia Graduates Conference. That's getting me nowhere and I just may end up NEVER writing about it! Okay. So I went there, not really...

Friday, August 6, 2004

EAGC, part II

Looking at my Bali photos, I realise that when I ask someone to help snap a photo of myself, most times it doesn't come out like I visualised or hoped it would. That's frustrating, because I start to think, "That's...

Friday, August 27, 2004

Sacrifice

Twice this week I've been "inconvenienced" (for lack of a better word) -- each time by a different person. Both times I decided to keep quiet and not say anything to the person concerned about the difficulties their actions/decisions caused...

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Stayin' true

I've been busy. Among other things, I went dating with this weird but still good-lookin' fellow on Saturday night. Okay, okay, I confess, he's my brother, and no, there's nothing incestuous going on between us, okay?! :D (and in...

Friday, September 24, 2004

Stay or leave?

Today I am listening to Diana Ross, one of my favourite albums. I've also decided to forget about "writing properly" -- at least on this blog -- because when I try to "write properly" all my writing comes out sounding...

Monday, October 4, 2004

Desperate measures

In a fit of desperation, I bought Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul a few days ago. I thought the stories might help to inspire me. (Plus it was cheap: $25* in Big Bookshop, Atria Shopping Complex. The same book...

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Am I a gossip?

I've been so busy that my brain's gone on holiday. Last night I forgot that my church's cell group had switched venues for a night. I got in my car and went on automatic pilot mode, driving to our usual...

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

It's not the end yet

I re-read Joni Eareckson Tada's autobiography recently -- simply titled Joni. My parents have the book, so I'd already read it years ago, but for some reason I just picked it up and started re-reading it while I was back...

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Church, or bed?

Mom made me go to church service on Sunday. You see, my hometown church holds service at the ungodly hour of 8:30am, and I've never been much of an early riser. As far as I'm concerned, the adage "the early...

Friday, November 5, 2004

Transition sucks

I hate being in transition. I am soooooo confused and quite tired of praying too. I'm not sure how other people do it, but since I can't pray for hours on end (don't you run out of things to say?)...

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Depending on the Rock

The other day a new colleague came up to me and asked me how to write a feature article. I looked blank. You mean there's a method?!? Personally, I hate it when I try to get people to explain how...

Monday, November 29, 2004

Hypocrite?

I went to church on Saturday night... well, actually, Bob and his wife kinda dragged me to church. I was not quite "there" throughout the whole service but did pick up the fact that Pastor Daniel was talking about our...

Friday, December 10, 2004

Priorities

Do you realise that the end of the year is almost upon us? It didn't hit me till a few days ago. I sat down and thought about the goals I'd set myself at the beginning of the year, and...

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Impact one life

I went to church on Sunday with a friend. I'm starting to realise that for me it helps to arrange to go together with someone or to meet someone there -- it's like accountability. My cousins have invited me to...

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Time to run back

At my church's cell group meeting last night, my group leader pointed me to Psalm 27. It is extremely appropriate for the place I am in now and the stuff that is happening in my life this week. Later last...

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Spoilt brat

I was sitting in church two weeks ago (yes, this post is delayed) and for some reason was very disturbed and unable to worship. So when everybody was singing I was sitting down having this heavy lump in my heart....

Monday, February 28, 2005

He's knockin'

On Friday night when I went for my church cell group meeting, during the singing, one of the members spoke out that well-known Revelation 3:20 verse that goes, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone...

Monday, March 28, 2005

Can't hear a thing

I'm trying to work through some stuff with God at the moment, and the lady I spoke to from church said I have to be honest with Him. The problem is not in being honest (after all, He already knows...

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

The forgotten Sunflower

Recently, I was reading a small booklet by local author Dr Lee Bee Teik. Its intriguing title -- The Forgotten Teenagers -- caught my eye. In it, Dr Lee quotes a teenager from one of David Wilkerson's books, Beyond the...

Friday, April 15, 2005

I hate being emotional

I started going for counselling under someone in my church a few weeks ago. It's bringing up lots of stuff and making me emotional. I hate being emotional coz when I'm emotional I don't feel in control. My housemates have...

Monday, April 18, 2005

Banishing neuroses

Yesterday morning I had a session with my counsellor. The night before I was quietly panicking because I had not read any of the Bible verses that she'd gave me to read, much less spent time thinking about (meditating on)...

Friday, May 6, 2005

'Surrender' was a bad word

After the fifth session with my counsellor on Sunday morning, she sent me back with some "homework", which involved reading the Bible every day and trying to listen for whatever God wanted to say to me through the text. And...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Success

Yesterday in church, my pastor mentioned Cassie Burnell, the 17-year-old girl who died in the 1999 Columbine shooting in Colorado, USA. In case you don't know the story (where have you been?!), two high-school students went on a shooting rampage....

Friday, May 20, 2005

One of THOSE days

I had a truly horrible afternoon. First, I was driving to a work assignment and I took a wrong turning and got lost. My petrol gauge was hovering perilously near empty. I only had two dollars in my purse. The...

Thursday, June 2, 2005

This is why I'm not a mystic

When it comes to mystical, "spiritual" stuff, I'm completely confused and hopelessly lost. Sure, I believe the spirit world exists, but exactly how it works or what goes on there is a mystery to me. We Christians are taught that...

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

Counselling: The End.

I haven't written about my counselling in awhile, mostly coz I haven't seen my counsellor for weeks. Remember the first time I saw her, she told me she would probably only have six sessions with me? Well, we'd already had...

Saturday, July 23, 2005

The things I don't talk about

I am struggling with my faith. Not the believing side of it, but the practical implications of it. The doing side of it. How it is supposed to work. What all that believing is supposed to mean. Whether I can...

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Guilt-ridden all the time

It's terrible how guilt can so easily creep in and poison one's life. I realised this afternoon that I feel guilty just buying a pair of earrings, even if they cost a mere RM5, because I already have so many...

Sunday, July 31, 2005

A fighting chance

Okay, okay. I am not by any means ready to give up my faith yet. I think I spooked some people by saying "I'm tired of living like this", but I only meant I'm fed-up with living under a cloud...

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

Car trouble... again

Sometimes I feel that God doesn't want to answer my prayers. You know, like I have no problem praying for others to be healed and believing that He'll heal them, but when it comes to me, I just do not...

Monday, August 8, 2005

Light in the darkness

I went to church on Saturday and to my great relief, realised something: I can still worship. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but it is comforting to me because it shows me that I'm not...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Car trouble again (the story of my life)

Barely 5 minutes after I left the house this morning, the car engine overheated. AGAIN. I was waiting at a traffic light when I saw the temperature gauge needle climbing and climbing. I freaked out; I knew I couldn't stop...

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Communication with God: mystery & minefield

When Christ said: ''I was hungry and you fed me,'' he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and...

Something to look forward to

Guess what's the theme of this year's Young Adults Camp, organised by my church? The Journey. Given where I am and what I'm going through, how appropriate is that?!? I've been looking out and waiting for the camp, and it's...

Sunday, August 14, 2005

I forgot it is a journey

Today, for the first time in three months, I opened my Bible and READ IT. I mean seriously read it, not counting those times in church and cell group meeting when I didn't really have a choice. I woke up...

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

It has to be God

I believe many people all over the world have been praying for me; some of you have never even left a comment in this blog, nor sent me email, but have been quietly praying for me over the past three...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The carless life

Walking out from my housing area to the main road in the mornings to hail a taxi is reminding me of how I used to walk around and take buses everywhere when I was a college student. It's also reminding...

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Birthday blessings

My church cell group celebrated my birthday tonight. We have a tradition of each saying something encouraging to the birthday person or speaking a "blessing" to him/her, and I was touched by all the things they said. (A "blessing" is...

Monday, September 5, 2005

Preparing for camp

Remember I said I was going to my church's Young Adults Camp? Well, it's this weekend and I'm going! Tonight we had a "pre-camp" meet coz the camp organising committee wanted to brief us and get us "prepared". They made...