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Me, myself & a sunflower Archives

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

Ghosts of the past

Frustrated coz the Internet's moving soooooooooo slowly today! Can't reply all the PMs I received. Still have the last few articles to finish up before I fly off tomorrow. Feeling introspective today. Thinking about Mom and Dad, about all this...

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Dominant personality?!

Blinking blog is acting up again. When I go to enter new stuff or edit, the previous entry is there, but it doesn稚 seem to be publishing it on the actual blog... arrgh! Told bro (20 years old and available...

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

Cosmetics... grr

I知 tickled pink. Janelle read this blog and said that I have an interesting mind. The fact of the matter is, minds aren稚 terribly attractive, coz you can稚 SEE 弾m. What everyone sees is the body!!! At work, I致e been...

Saturday, October 19, 2002

High heels and my little car

Almost all the department store chains are having sales. Went to Isetan and heroically restrained myself from buying any more shoes, although I did try a few pairs. The last time I counted, I had like 37 pairs, so I...

Friday, October 25, 2002

Finding myself

I really hate introductions. Not those, “Hi, I’m Sunflower, and you are...?” kind of introductions. I mean introductions that are the beginning of stories. I have all these wonderful notes in front of me, all the information swimming around in...

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Sunflower the ostrich

I hate confrontations. I would rather ignore the phone, run in the opposite direction, and go into hiding than have to confront someone. Probably would make a good ostrich, except that I don’t have the long neck. Oh, nor the...

Thursday, November 14, 2002

I couldn't resist

I don’t usually do these quiz things (mainly because everybody else is doing them, and it gets tiring seeing the same thing on every other blog I visit – I’ve never liked to follow the crowd too much :P). But...

Saturday, November 23, 2002

Struggling alone

I seem to have created a controversy of sorts without meaning to. Many thanks to James Cordey of Threshing Floor, who said of me, "She continues to process the whole thing and try to hear God in it all and...

Old ghosts

I think this is probably a good passage of Scripture to remember right now: "One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which...

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Oh, it's YOU again

Just the other night, I was talking to Bob about not being perfect. Actually, I was having an attack of the blahs and he was trying valiantly to get me out of it. I, however, was not cooperating. I can...

Saturday, December 28, 2002

Personality tests

I enjoy personality tests and take a lot of them. I'll have a page just for them on my new website (which I haven't worked on for at least 2 weeks now – eek!). But here's the latest. Thanks to...

Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Sunflower's exposé

Mark Morris once called me brave. I'm not, really. The thing with blogging – or any sort of communication – is that I can choose how much information I want to give out about myself. I can present you with...

Thursday, January 2, 2003

Keeping stuff

Gary Peterson has been clearing his desk as he prepares to move to a new job. He says, "I had so much old crap that even I was astounded, and I know without a doubt that I save too much...

Friday, January 3, 2003

Creative urges

Something in Sainteros's latest offering struck me today. In a list of resolutions, two stood out:Express my creativity without concern for conventionDo something visual and something musicalI致e been going a bit mad lately. I passed a sort of bazaar the...

Saturday, January 4, 2003

Autobiography

This morning, 5am She wrote down words of encouragement in a little card, then sealed the envelope. She knew from experience what a difference a few words could make. With secret glee she planned, anticiplating the joy those words might...

Sunday, January 5, 2003

The Father's response

From the friend who reads my blog regularly, in response to my post yesterday: The Father looked down on His forlorn child. He saw what she was going through and understood. He knew the darkest nights belong to the loneliest...

Monday, January 6, 2003

Struggle with disapproval

I have never liked moving. I say it's a hassle and a bother, but the real reason is much deeper than that. I have A LOT of stuff. People always think I'm exaggerating till they actually see it with their...

That's me!

Two weeks ago I attended the opening of a new Starbucks cafe. Here's me learning how to make my own coffee... Update: Since the picture REFUSES to load even though I've tried three different webhosts (including Yahoo photos!), I've changed...

Wednesday, January 8, 2003

Aloneness

You know what? I read other people's blogs and everybody is talking about the LOTR Two Towers movie. I haven't seen it. I didn't see the first one, either. *gasp* *faints* LOL Dunno... it's just not very important to me....

Thursday, January 9, 2003

Repression?

Today my paper's youth section ran a letter from a girl who's suffering from clinical depression. It hurt me to read her story. Clinical depression. Through the years, I've wondered off and on whether I could possibly be suffering from...

Friday, January 10, 2003

Practicality vs. aesthetics

A thing of beauty is a joy forever. – John Keats Things of beauty have a value all their own. They might not have a great deal of practical or monetary value, but they are precious nonetheless. They fascinate me....

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Writing

Beautiful people don't communicate with written word. They communicate with another language. They stare. They play games. They turn each other on with pheromones and slobber. They break up their friendships by giving each other the cold shoulder. But.. words?...

Saturday, January 25, 2003

Then and now

My cupboard didn't arrive!!! They said they'd deliver it at noon and I waited and waited. Nothing. At 5:30pm I called the furniture shop and the lady was horrified. "What, you mean you haven't gotten your cupboard yet?!" Nope... She...

Friday, February 7, 2003

Analysing myself

free enneagram test I have to say that the picture is SO me, as anybody who knows me well enough will agree! Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable Basic Desire: To be capable and competentThe perceptive, cerebral type. Fives...

Wednesday, March 5, 2003

Why I studied law

Nathan recently asked me how I got to be interested in practising law. The truth is, I never was - which probably accounts for the fact that I'm not practising it now! Whenever I tell people I have a law...

Thursday, March 20, 2003

Numb about the war

Most of you would have noticed that I haven't blogged on the (impending) war at all. The only thing I've written so far was on Malaysia's stand on it, and that was on Feb 26. Rachel's words express my feelings...

Thursday, March 27, 2003

Wrong impressions

Do you ever have times when you don't know why you're doing what you're doing? I do. The other day, I caught myself doing what I now think of as my "blur act" once again. It happens every time someone...

Tuesday, April 1, 2003

April Fool's Day

Rick's post reminded me that today is April Fool's. Ugh. You'd think I'd have realised this a lot sooner, but I recently admitted to myself that I simply can't handle being teased. I don't like being laughed at. Of course,...

Thursday, April 3, 2003

Compelled by love

In The Miracle of Agape Love Joseph F Manning writes,If agape love could be defined... I believe it would be like this: I love you (I really experience a giving, selfless love) because God has placed within me His wonderful...

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Who is this Wilful Sunflower??!?!

I'm going to link this in my sidebar as an "About Me" section for the benefit of new people dropping by who might be wondering, "Who is this Wilful Sunflower??!?!". My previous "About Me" page was on my personal website,...

Thursday, May 22, 2003

Daily‾Biscuit

Owen over at ...

Sunday, June 8, 2003

Way cool...

Which book of the Bible are you? brought to you by Quizilla (Via I Wanna Be Meeker)...

Friday, July 11, 2003

Not my scene :)

Some of the Malaysian bloggers are planning to go clubbing tonight. Ahh... that is SO not my thing. :) I've been conspicuously silent as emails have shot back and forth, suggesting possible venues. It's not that I have any objections...

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

More hairy stuff

Yippee! Hani thinks my hair is pretty! (Not quite the same as if Ash had thought so, but we all know men can be so blur... hehehee) My hair has a mind of its own. It's wavy, it goes all...

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Getting my life in order

I turn 25 next month. It feels significant. And not because of the quarter-century thing, either. After all, there's all that hype surrounding "Sweet Sixteen", not to mention turning 21 and supposedly entering adulthood & freedom (yee-ha!), symbolised by wearing...

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Absence of flowers

Last week marked Convocation Day (Graduation Day) at one of the local universities. Two of my housemates rigged themselves up in flowing robe, sash and mortarboard, and went up on stage to receive their scrolls. I wasn't able to be...

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Shoe and accessory supplier

When two of my housemates were invited to a wedding (the same wedding) recently, both turned to me: I became Shoe And Accessory Supplier. Each borrowed a pair of (black) high-heeled shoes from me. In addition, one borrowed a pair...

Friday, August 29, 2003

Definitions

Snippet from an ICQ conversation: Friend : ...and you are a contemplative person. Me : Too contemplative, don't you think? Friend : No. I am too contemplative. You are verbose. Me : ROTFL!  ** Note: My ICQ no. is 169187068...

Monday, September 1, 2003

Spilt my guts

I'm getting counselling. One of my housemates is taking a degree in counselling, and part of her course requirements calls for her to hold actual counselling sessions with "clients" and record those sessions. She was hunting for victims "counsellees" (if...

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

Tired of being afraid

I didn't really reflect on my life upon turning 25. But I do remember one night, I was crying into my pillow and I decided I was fed-up of being afraid all the time. There are two things that I'm...

Monday, September 8, 2003

On friendship

I've been spending lots of time with my housemates lately, which is why things have been kinda quiet here. As Dean is fond of saying, "Real life trumps blogging!" Relationships are important to me. In high school, I didn't relate...

Friday, September 12, 2003

The power of words

A few days ago, Dad sent me an SMS on my latest article: Read your piece on Gurney School. Quite a good article, but not terribly exciting. Sigh. Growing up with Dad taught me that words have great power. Remember...

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Five questions

There's this "5 questions" thing going around the BlogWorld. (I refuse to say the word "blogosphere"... oops, just said it!) Bryan has devised five questions just for me. Bryan, did you have to ask such HARD questions?!! ...And yes, that...

Tuesday, October 7, 2003

This explains a lot

My inner child is ten years old! The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost in a good book, or giggling with my best friend, I live in a world...

Thursday, October 9, 2003

Yes, I know I think too much

I am really, really, really tired and I probably shouldn't be posting this because I hate these kind of posts, but I wanted to write it out, assuming there's anything to come out in the first place. Most days I...

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Little white lies...

23 comments, 10 emails, one e-card and one phone call — I'm amazed at you guys :) Frankly I wasn't looking forward to Saturday because I'd managed to line up no less than four appointments throughout the day and the...

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

This thing called Art

I need my head examined. I just ordered three craft books through Amazon. I won't even tell you how much they cost after conversion from US dollars into Malaysian dollars (or ringgit, as we call it here). Now I have...

Friday, October 17, 2003

No straight lines

Paging through a card-making book last night, I realised something: I like straight lines. Let me explain. I'm not obsessive enough to get out a set square and make sure all four corners of my cards equal 90 degree angles,...

Friday, December 12, 2003

My "Christian experience"

Hmmm. Paul has a question about my Christian experience. Snoflek and I were discussing this very question a few weeks ago. Both of us grew up in Christian families, started going to church services even before we were born, later...

Monday, January 19, 2004

Favours

Do you ever feel like you shoot yourself in the foot? I really hate asking for help. Hate it, and generally try to avoid it like the plague. Even when I do ask, I backtrack almost immediately and give the...

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Emotionless

"Do you want to watch The Passion? The Damansara Utama Methodist Church is holding a screening — I could get you a ticket," Emmy said. Do I want to watch The Passion? I'm not sure. All the hype has me...

Thursday, May 6, 2004

Outer beauty

Dad looked and me and said, "You have a lot of weight to lose." Mom said I have a triple chin. I know, my family are sooooo supportive, aren't they? The last time, Dad said my face is now bigger...

Friday, May 7, 2004

Fulfilling a dream

I was walking in a shopping mall when a stall's array of jewellery boxes caught my eye. Unable to stop myself, I paused to look, to touch, to dream. I've always wanted a musical jewellery box, or one of those...

Friday, June 4, 2004

100 things

After all the serious stuff this week, it's time for something lighter. I've been working on a "100 things about me" list for more than a year now. Surprising how difficult it is to think of 100 things! Am I...

Sunday, June 6, 2004

The name game

Technically, 'Sunflower' is not my real name. It is a name I chose myself when I was 15, and is not on any of my official identification documents. How's that for a bombshell?! And here you guys thought you knew...

Friday, June 11, 2004

Dreaming of art

I was going to publish this as a comment at Onionboy's latest post but it got so long, I am putting it here.  Dear O, I was touched when I read your words. When I was very young my first...

Tuesday, August 3, 2004

Favourite pic

This is my favourite pic from the 4 rolls of film I took in Bali. I call it "Puss-in-Boots gone wrong": The idea was to do a "Puss-in-Boots" (think Shrek 2), but somehow I turned out looking more menacing than...

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

My Chinese name

That, ladies and gentlemen, is my Chinese given name (Mandarin pronunciation or pinyin: shi4 ping2). Of course, it just looks like a bunch of strokes to those who can't read Chinese. I know this coz I only recognise about,...

Thursday, October 7, 2004

NKOTB who?

My colleagues find it fascinating that I don't know any of the New Kids on the Block (NKOTB) songs and was never a fan. I couldn't even tell you how many members were in the group. Four? Five? Six??? "They...

Friday, October 15, 2004

Cleanse, tone and moisturise

I've just been writing about cosmetic products for work (something which, by the way, I hate to do), so you might say this post was 'inspired'. Hahah. And if I have to use the words 'luminous', 'radiant' or 'glowing' just...

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Redefining dreams

Somebody recently asked what I'd dreamt of doing after graduating from university. Some people dream of making their first million by the age of 30 or building their own corporate empire... well, my only dream was to find a job...

Friday, April 29, 2005

Let the music play

I just got back from a two-day business trip to Singapore. It was a rather sudden thing and explains the silence here. My writing's been rather sporadic lately, I know, but I'm applying for a broadband connection at home so...

Thursday, May 5, 2005

If I could be...

I don't really like to think of "what ifs" because I feel that's a futile exercise. Like, what's done is done and nasi sudah menjadi bubur, y'know? (A Malay saying -- literally translated: "the rice has turned into porridge" --...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

One day up, next day down

That is so me. I walked into a Christian bookshop last week not knowing they were having a sale, and came out $460 poorer. Of course, I could console myself by saying that I bought Bible commentaries -- always...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Displaying the new hair

Just so you know, there's a real post below this one :P Anyway, for those who've wanted pictures of my new hairstyle... okay, it's not so new now, but still -- these pics come courtesy of Portugese blogger David Costa,...

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Calamity #5231

Yesterday the first thing I did when I woke up was to log onto the Internet and start searching for ice-breaker games. Coz I had cell group meeting that evening and I was in charge of coming up with an...

Monday, May 30, 2005

And I am...

I've done a lot of variations of the Myers-Briggs personality test, but never found a definition that I thought was "me"-- until now. I found this funny especially because it hit the nail on the head when it comes to...

Friday, June 10, 2005

Sleeping beauty

I fell asleep in my office on Wednesday afternoon -- all my late nights are catching up with me -- and a trigger-happy colleague snapped some pictures as evidence. However, instead of sebarkan (spreading it) all over the Internet...

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Um, me no remember wor

Most people remember faces, or if not then at least they remember names. Me? I sometimes remember faces... and sometimes remember nothing. I swear, it can make for some extremely embarrassing moments. Like when fellow Malaysian blogger Silencer responded to...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Struggles

For much of my life I've lived with the knowledge of my neediness & insecurities and tried not to let them consume me. There've been times in the past when I've felt myself get just a bit too clingy to...

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Because I like attention too

All the stuff people said about meeting me at the Project Petaling Street anniversary bash (mostly wonderful, I think I'm starting to get used to it):Sunflower was there...This is the second time I'm meeting up with her. Our blogs are...

Saturday, July 9, 2005

A musical entry

Murphy's Law is still operating at full strength where I'm concerned. My mattress is not arriving today after all. Waaah The King Koil lady said something about there being a problem with the lorry drivers :( *        *        *        *        * I said once...

Saturday, September 3, 2005

Gastronomic aversions

Fellow blogger Grace tagged me some time ago to go make a "10 things" list thingy. Ever since then, every time she sees me on Yahoo Messenger, she's been telling me, "You still owe me a post!" Today she said,...

Thursday, September 8, 2005

That guy had better consider himself lucky

Today was just one of those days when everything was blah. I sat in front of my computer screen and felt blah. I didn't even want to write emails or post to my blog, or read other blogs. Then I...

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Talkers & Listeners

A friend commented last night that some people tend to be pretty self-absorbed. Proving her right -- or so I thought -- I promptly asked, "Am I self-absorbed?" "No, I think you want to know people as much as you...

Monday, September 26, 2005

Blame Bob

Bob tagged me with this meme some time ago, coz, according to him, "she can be a sucker for stuff like this". WOI!!! WHO YOU CALLING A SUCKER AH?!?!?!  7 Things I Plan To Do Before I DieGET MARRIED. (Okay...

Monday, October 24, 2005

It's all about food

Quick one, coz it's 3:20am and I'm pretty much brain-dead (am gonna set the post to display Monday, coz as far as I'm concerned it's still Monday since I haven't gone to sleep yet :P): 5 Things You Probably Don't...

Friday, November 4, 2005

Reminisce: My family's pet history

When my family moved back to Ayer Tawar after my grandpa died, we "inherited" a dog called Brownie. I don't think she had any pedigree. For some reason, I never went near her at all. She ate cooked rice, that...

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

Food in my childhood

I don't have terribly many childhood memories of food -- or not that I remember, anyway. As a child I didn't like to eat much and would frequently announce that I was full half-way during dinner. I also took so...

Thursday, December 8, 2005

And your name is...?

I can't remember whether I've ever written about this before, but I have a terrible memory when it comes to people. For some reason, people ALWAYS seem to remember me, and I, err, well... quite often don't remember them. *blushes*...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Self-psychoanalysis

I learnt something about myself yesterday. If I call a friend up coz I need to talk to someone, or need to rant, I always start the conversation by asking how they are. I need to feel that I'm not...

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Apparently I confuse people :D

I've been having too many meetings. Two yesterday, was in a seminar the whole day today, another meeting tomorrow, and another on Monday. I feel like wilting! Not only that, I feel brain dead. Even though there are gazillions of...

Thursday, March 9, 2006

Give yourself a chance

I can't stand it when my friends put themselves down. Yes, not everybody is good in everything, and sometimes I too feel I won't be able to do this or figure that out, but stop saying you're hopeless, coz...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

No lists. I don't like lists.

I don't feel like writing anything today. Been wrestling with several issues lately and feeling blue. So, lucky for me, I have some questions to answer... I got my first "real job" at 19. I was in university, had a...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

No windowpanes were shattered in the creation of this blog post.

Today I found out I'm an alto and not a soprano. After responding to an urgent SOS, I had an audition with the director of The Canticle Singers' latest production. Seriously, I always thought I was a soprano coz my...

Sunday, March 19, 2006

I must stop posting at ungodly hours

6:20am and I am eating chocolate. Comfort food. And yes, I should be sleeping. But I decided to work, so I should be working. Ever heard of 'procrastination'? I did get one piece of work done, so at least my...

Monday, March 20, 2006

Is ignorance bliss?

Recently, one of the Christian US bloggers passed away. His blog wasn't one I used to frequent. I read about his death on another blog, then went to this guy's blog, and it was still there, looking as if he...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

It has barely touched my life

Had a sudden need to listen to classical music tonight. Weird. Despite having spent eight years of my youth taking piano lessons, I rarely listen to classical music. But for some reason, tonight it just seemed... right. No, necessary. And...

Friday, March 24, 2006

Do Not Disturb.

I am soooooooooo zonked. Really knackered. Feel like I could sleep for a week. So, I'm going to sleep. Err, right after I finish this post. Yes, my name is Sunflower and I am a Blog Addict. But back to...

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

In ten words

UPDATE: I suspected I've been losing readers and now I'm sure of it. Only five responses?!?  For the past month I've sort of felt "chained" to the computer coz work has been so insane, and now I'm trying to get...

Monday, April 17, 2006

Move forward, don't look back

Written March 15 but saved till the movie's run ended so there'd be no wories about spoilers :)  A friend had free tickets to a screening of The New World, so we went last night. I was on tenterhooks for...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Driven

I tend to not handle pressure or stress very well. When too many things start crowding in and life starts getting a bit overwhelming, I start going into escapism mode. This means eating, shopping (retail therapy! Yeah!!!), and... reading romance...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Wanted: A 'safe place'

Chen May, Blink's fiancée, was talking with me the other day and asked me if I'd ever considered getting together with one of our mutual friends. I told her no, because the guy is too 'intense'. Actually, what I meant...

Wednesday, July 12, 2006