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Tuesday, October 15, 2002

Loneliness

I致e just been scrolling through my cellphone痴 phone book, trying to find someone to have dinner with me. Couldn稚 find anyone. I think I don稚 have enough friends. The same thing happened last night. I got hungry at 10pm and...

Friday, November 8, 2002

More on waiting

In Quest For Love, Elisabeth Elliot writes: Except for those far ahead of most of us in sanctity, waiting is a form of suffering – the difficulty of self-restraint, the anguish of unfulfilled longing, the bewilderment of unanswered prayer, my...

Waiting for THE man

I did the Googlism thing out of curiosity and more than half of the results were probably from Me, Myself and Sunflower movie reviews. But I burst out laughing when I read, “Sunflower is also available”! Yes, indeed, Sunflower is...

Saturday, November 9, 2002

Let's experiment?

Hmm. I got this comment in response to yesterday’s post:You know what I think, I think maybe, God took your little prayer thing a little too literally. He's apt to do that sometimes when the mood takes him. So he's...

He has to be what??!?!?!!

People always seem to ask me, “What are you looking for in a partner?” Last night, on ICQ with the same friend who said I should plan some strategies to find and get to know guys (see this post), the...

Sunday, November 10, 2002

It's non-negotiable

In my previous post, I wrote, “It goes without saying that my future partner should be a Christian.” I wonder if anyone read that and asked, “It DOES?!” It might be enough to know that the Bible says, “Do not...

Monday, November 11, 2002

Love is commitment

One Sunday night I didn稚 feel like going home, so I cruised around in my little car. It was midnight, and for once I wasn稚 in a hurry to get anywhere in particular. Figured it was a good a time...

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Wanting a relationship

Neal, Jon Davis and Josh S have all been posting about relationships lately. Specifically, the longing for one. The other night I was out for dinner with Janelle. As usual, I asked her how her boyfriend is and we talked...

From the archives

Since I wrote about relationships in my latest post, I decided to dig up my archives for a few related posts I wrote last year. Waiting for THE man:You see, when I was 16 I read a true story that...

Friday, February 14, 2003

Celebration of marriage and love

Happy Valentine's Day, by the way. Josh Claybourn says Valentine's week is otherwise known as "Singleness Awareness Week". It's not so bad if you live in a television-less world, Josh. :) My paper ran a Valentine's Day contest sponsored by...

Sunday, February 16, 2003

Collection of Valentine's Day posts

It's 3:20 in the morning here and I don't know what I'm doing up, especially since there's church tomorrow. I was surfing around for Valentine's Day blog posts. Here's a quick list before I go get some shut-eye: The day...

Thursday, March 13, 2003

Another one bites the dust

Last night, a friend I haven't seen in months suddenly called me up and invited me for dinner. We went out, and as we sat down at the table I saw something twinkling on the fourth finger of her left...

Friday, April 25, 2003

Single and separate?

Rick links to an article that claims the church has been "indifferent" towards singles. "Much of the time, singles live on the fringes of church life because they feel the church doesn't understand or care about their particular needs," the...

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

The problem of romance

Karen posts on The Problem Of Romance, something that has been sitting in the back of my mind lately, saying, "Think about me!" LOL A few weeks back, I read something in Elisabeth Elliot's Quest For Love that has been...

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Surrendering marriage

Very weird, I couldn't see my blog at all this morning - part of the sidebar loaded and that was all. I refreshed and refreshed but the blog wouldn't perk up. Then I had the bright idea of re-publishing my...

Thursday, July 3, 2003

Reality nibbles

Recently, one of my friends received a special gift from her boyfriend: a pair of diamond earrings. If you knew both of them, you'd know that this is a sign of his commitment to her. I watched my friend's excitement,...

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

Tired of being afraid

I didn't really reflect on my life upon turning 25. But I do remember one night, I was crying into my pillow and I decided I was fed-up of being afraid all the time. There are two things that I'm...

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

16 again, briefly

I felt 16 again. Excited, giggly, wondering, stealing glances. It was a guy, of course. A guy at camp. Really weird coz I haven't had this kind of reaction to a male creature since I turned 18! But anyway, I...

Wednesday, December 3, 2003

Godly men

Reading women's magazines usually makes me depressed, and not just because of the air-brushed models and the zillion beauty tips that make you suddenly feel totally un-beautiful. It's because of all the sex. Has anybody ever noticed that every issue...

Tuesday, December 9, 2003

À la Bridget Jones's Diary

V. bad morning. Could not get up from bed. Think sleeping at 5am had something to do with it. Was reading Bridget Jones's Diary. No similarity to my blog (despite what certain people say). Similarity only popping up now. Style...

Friday, January 2, 2004

Pondering marriage

It was Karen Beilharz who once commented on one of my posts: This article by Louise Jonker is very interesting. She makes a good point: "It seems that people are pretty good at getting together — the thing we need...

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Dating fear?

Benjamin Alan recently wrote about "the Christian fear of dating". He says that recent times have brought in "anti-dating ideology", citing Joshua Harris' book I Kissed Dating Goodbye as an example. "It seems as though this movement is creating so...

Friday, February 13, 2004

The Grand Gesture

I think I'm jealous. Yet I doubt the Grand Gesture is what's important -- it's the idea that someone would be willing to make a Grand Gesture in the first place. However much we say that Valentine's Day is all...

Friday, March 12, 2004

Men, stand up and be counted

I was browsing in a Christian bookstore yesterday when I read the following: Unless you believe that God is going to supernaturally bring The One to your doorstep, then you must take responsibility to place yourself in a Target-Rich environment....

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Wacky ideas

One of the stories in this book is from Carole Chelsea George, who as a female American tourist in India placed a personals ad in one of the Indian newspapers: Ever since I'd arrived in India several months earlier, I'd...

Tuesday, April 6, 2004

Let family help

Before this, if you'd ever asked me what I thought of arranged marriages, I'd have told you it was a horrid outdated idea imposed by overbearing, dictatorial parents. But now I'm starting to wonder -- what if parents were to...

Sunday, May 9, 2004

Weddings galore

Is this an auspicious year for weddings, or is it just something in the air? Seven of my friends & acquaintances are getting married within the first six months of this year. I've already attended two of those weddings and...

Monday, May 10, 2004

Never too high

I remember telling Mom I wanted a guy who'd be sensitive to my feelings and needs, and she said I would wait forever coz guys are not like that. I insisted that there are a few guys like that out...

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Reason to marry

I like to bounce ideas off people. Yesterday I was driving Emmy (my housemate) and I to a nearby shopping mall when I asked her if it was ok to get married for companionship or because we're lonely. After all,...

Friday, May 14, 2004

Make who happy?

The truth is, I want to marry because I think it will make me happy. Or happier. Oh, it's not something I readily admit. A few months ago, one of my uncles mentioned in conversation that marriage is a blessing,...

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Praying harder now

I've never really been one to have pets. I had two rabbits when I was in primary school, but they died an untimely death due to the neighbour's dogs who burrowed under the fence separating our gardens and tore apart...

Tuesday, June 8, 2004

God's faithfulness

As I read others' stories, I'm constantly reminded how sheltered and protected I was as a child. I grew up with Christian parents — okay, so maybe they weren't perfect, and I've had some issues with them, but I'll always...

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Compatibility vs. "love"

Ever since writing about arranged marriages in early April, I've been thinking about the supposed fact that arranged marriages last longer than so-called "love matches". Just so you know, the couple with the world's longest marriage (until the wife passed...

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Waiting, waiting

On Saturday, I attended a bridal shower for a friend. She's getting married this Sat (17th) in Melaka, another state, and I've promised to go down for the wedding. One of my housemates will be bridesmaid :) Another friend texted...

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Not enough men?

It's funny. For all the things I'm worried about when it comes to the subject of relationships, the lack of single Christian men isn't one of them. I know that statistics show single women outnumber single men in churches. But...

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Gettin' giddy

Do I write waaaaay too much about singleness & relationships & love & marriage? Just checkin' ;) I'm feeling so giddy these days, not giddy like pening (dizzy), you know, but giddy like a giddy teenager. I swear my hormones...

Friday, August 13, 2004

And all that

There's this book I have (but haven't read) hilariously titled, I Kissed A Lot Of Frogs But The Prince Hasn't Come, by Kathleen Hardaway. Crosswalk.com recently published an interview with her, which I read with great interest coz it addresses...

Monday, August 30, 2004

Domesticity

Yesterday Lady Snoflek and I visited friends, a couple who've just had their first child. (No, not Loopy Meals, lol!) It was our first time in their home ever since their marriage two years ago. We stepped foot into a...

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Housemates

I have the bestest housemates. I went home after work yesterday and Adeline asked if I was okay, coz I'd already sent her text messages about the situation. We went to her room and she held me while I cried...

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Found: love & acceptance

Raising Helen is only the second movie to make me cry (the first was Dead Poets Society). It gave form to one of my oldest, deepest fears: that I'll never find a man who will love & accept me as...

Monday, September 20, 2004

Falling in love

I don't believe in falling in love. I never have. Funny, isn't it, coming from a hopeless romantic (or, as Yvonne would put it, "hopeful romantic")? But I don't believe in falling in love. I do believe that love can...

Friday, October 1, 2004

Falling in love: reprised

Remember what I said about me wanting to choose the person I'll eventually "fall in love" with? Almost everyone who's given me feedback has disagreed, saying that it is not possible. I find this amusing, in a way, especially from...

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Baby steps

Someone very close to me recently got into a special relationship and I'm so excited coz I've waited and waited for this day to come! You see, I know this person (let's assume it's a guy and name him X...

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Internet romance?

A friend recently asked me whether it's possible to meet someone on the Internet and fall in love. I said, well, I think you have to meet in person first before you can tell whether the relationship has any potential...

Monday, December 13, 2004

Christian matchmaking

Whilst I'm on the topic of online dating... *grin* ...about a week or so ago, I saw an ad in the papers for a matchmaking site catering to Malaysian Christians. A similar ad was run in the latest issue of...

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Obsessions

I was talking to a friend a few days ago and she said she's come to the point where she doesn't even want to talk about love and relationships anymore. I know the feeling. I mean, among singles (especially single...

Friday, January 7, 2005

Lonely blues

I think I have watched too much of The Phantom of the Opera. Oh wait... I only saw it twice. Must be all the romance novels I've been reading, then. Or maybe the fact that lots of people around...

Thursday, January 13, 2005

It is not a fate worse than death

I met a friend for dinner on Tuesday night and she as usual asked me whether I have any updates in the love department. When I said no, she said I might want to make myself over if I wanted...

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Oops, I did it again

My life has just gotten extra complicated, which I really didn't need (I do a good enough job of complicating it all by myself without any help, thank you very much). So as an outlet, what did I do? I...

Friday, February 18, 2005

Glamour is poor company

On Saturday, the sermon was about building strong families and I was... frustrated. Likening a family to a garden, the pastor said, "Your family is the most important field you'll ever tend." I gritted my teeth and muttered in my...

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Single by choice

It's insanely annoying that a girl can't occasionally whine about being single (and prospectless) without people thinking that she's desperate. Excuse me? Ok, it's like this. Like I told Blink, say, for example, you are in financial difficulties and you...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Bigotry, indeed

Right, I want to know, why is it okay for someone to say, "I would like a guy who shares my passion for gardening," and yet when I say, "I would like a guy who shares my religious beliefs," all...

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Matchmaking attempt

A family acquaintance wants to matchmake me with a relative of his. Mom called last night and laughingly told me that somebody we know, but are not close to, had rung Dad out of the blue. This 'uncle' (we Malaysians...

Sunday, May 22, 2005

What you see is what you get

The guy emailed me for the first time today ;) I'd thought he was not going to email, since it'd been so long since Mom told me about him. About three weeks ago she called and said his uncle had...

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

How many bloggers is too many?

While we're on the topic of relationships... I asked my housemate Sock Hui, who works in IT support & development, whether she would consider being together with a guy who isn't IT-savvy. I mean, what if he's one of those...

Sunday, June 5, 2005

Developments in my non-existent love life

Remember the guy? Okay, he hasn't replied my email in two weeks. [UPDATE: I got his email just before posting this! Is that good timing or what?] But, today I went over to my uncle & aunt's place for dinner,...

Monday, June 6, 2005

Who drives?

Do you ever find yourself asking the strangest questions? This is a conversation I had with my housemate, Emmy, about two months ago as I was driving to Cherating (a popular tourist destination in the state of Pahang)... Me: If...

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

My dating philosophy

Many years ago, I decided I wasn't going to get into a relationship with any guy that I couldn't see myself marrying. Why invest so much in the relationship, I reasoned, if it isn't going to go anywhere? But sometime...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Through different eyes

When I talk with others, what surprises me the most sometimes is how differently we look at things. I'm not surprised by similarities, coz I've realised that we all suffer the same agonies of self-doubt, wounds from careless words, frustration...

Monday, June 27, 2005

More match-making afoot

Only two comments on my lame post. Serves me right ;) More match-making's afoot. I just had this "conversation" with my 17-year-old cousin Yean tonight via mobile phone text messaging...  Yean: Want to introduce an Australian Chinese doctor Christian 39yrs...

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Email address now crucial to spouse screening process

*ahem* So I called my aunt and she said she had heard from my other aunt in Australia, the one who's trying to match me up with that Australian psychiatrist. The story goes that my aunt in Australia met up...

Monday, August 15, 2005

Matchmaking updates

Now I have so many candidates, I have to start numbering them.  Candidate #1. Otherwise known as the match-making victim, this fella takes weeks to reply email. I am SO not kidding. In the latest development, after 5½ weeks of...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Why he so like that?

I decided to pick more guys' brains about Candidate #1's strange behaviour. I asked Viceice: "If a guy replies text messages a few days later, what's going on in his head?" Answer:He's normal and put it off and forgot until...

Thursday, September 8, 2005

That guy had better consider himself lucky

Today was just one of those days when everything was blah. I sat in front of my computer screen and felt blah. I didn't even want to write emails or post to my blog, or read other blogs. Then I...

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The subconscious speaks

Last night I dreamt I found an abandoned baby and cradled him in my arms. Then I begged Dad to let me keep the baby for a few days so that the little one wouldn't have to wake up to...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Good thing my name means peace, not patience

I was writing something else, but it will not come out right, and I think I'm developing a cold. *sniffle* I ponteng-ed (played truant from) cell group meeting tonight and am just feeling out of things in general. The two...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The dating game

I'm trying out this new dating service in town. Well, they offered me a three-month free trial, so I thought, why not? They just set you up on a series of blind dates, after all. Could be interesting. You are...

Friday, October 21, 2005

Who pays?

While we're talking about dating (I was, the day before yesterday, if you noticed), let me just say that I don't believe the guy has to pay all the time. See? SEE? I don't demand much, am pretty easy-going, quite...

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Finding Mr I-want-to-spend-my-whole-life-with

I attended a friend's wedding today. That's a picture of one of the small cake boxes normally placed on the table, beside the plate of each guest... it contains a slice of fruit cake. I think that's supposed to be...

Sunday, October 23, 2005

On 'The One'

Blink (my bro) asked me recently whether I believe in "The One". I said it doesn't matter. Whether you believe there is only one person out there for you or you believe there is a pool of potentials to choose...

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Wanted: companion for the journey

I've been thinking lately about what I'm looking for in a life partner (AGAIN). When I was in college, I made a list that had about 34 attributes -- it's still somewhere around. Well, if you tell me to be...

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Dateless in KL

Memo from boss: This year's Christmas Dinner will be held on Dec 2, 2005 at 8pm. All staff are invited, as are your spouses/partners. RSVP. But I have no spouse, neither do I have a partner! You Are A Lily...

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Getting priorities straight

Over the past month or so, I've been "exploring possibilities" with someone who was introduced to me by one of my aunts. I didn't write about it here because it was private and involved someone else besides me (namely, him!)....

Monday, February 6, 2006

Parents confound me all the time

UPDATE 12:10pm Tues Feb 7: Password-protection has been removed. Comments are now free-for-all! Knock yourselves out!! :D  Dad has been telling me to remain single. "In olden times, women had no identities or rights of their own. They were considered...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

A bit more finesse, please

Happy Valentine's Day! I've just this minute arrived back from my hometown. Thanks for all the condolences, prayers, & good wishes :) A guy sort of asked me out for Valentine's Day this year, something that has never occurred before...

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Those days are back again

I'd forgotten what it feels like to be infatuated. The last time I had a crush was in high school. Back then, it was the Hero-Worship From Afar Syndrome. I distinctly remember stealing peeks at the object of my, err,...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Letting go

In December last year, I went out on a few dates with a guy. Getting to know each other, trying to discover if we were compatible. After a month, he wanted to know what I thought. I felt we would...

Sunday, June 4, 2006

Virginity is not a criterion

I think Charmaine is so brave for openly stating she wants a guy who's a virgin. I'm sure I've never actually heard any woman say that before. In this day and age, say something like that, and most people tend...

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Waiting, waiting

My housemate Adeline said I should watch The Lake House (starring Sandra Bullock & Keanu Reeves) coz "it's about waiting for the right person & right timing; it's so encouraging to people like you and me, who are still waiting"....

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Don't buy into the BS

Culture... defines the standard for romanticism. Popular movies, songs, books, and television shows depict the "perfect" couple who enjoys the "perfect" relationship. A large part of that relationship is usually sexual. The passion is supposedly equal to the depth of...

Thursday, August 31, 2006

That gender gap? It exists.

Half-way through a romance novel this evening, it occurred to me that romance novels are invariably written by women. Then it occurred to me that only a woman would know what kind of men other women want & dream about....

Monday, September 18, 2006

The gift of friendship

I'm very grateful for the gift of friendship. Although I've always treasured my friends, it's only now that I realise what a truly precious thing it is to be surrounded by people I love & trust, who accept me as...

Friday, October 6, 2006

Need to lose a few IQ points

Sherman thinks I'm still single because I'm too intelligent, which is flattering, but hardly reassuring. "You know why it's so difficult for you to have a man? You're too intelligent, full stop. I've never met a guy who has a...