Dearest,

Last week my counsellors asked me which area is it I find most critical in my life and want to work on first. I told them that I want to learn to be happy with myself, to love & accept myself and not live under a cloud of guilt and failure and self-condemnation any longer.

I feel that this is so important, especially since I'm preparing to meet you... I want to come to you whole -- or as whole as I can possibly be while still remaining a broken and fallible human being. I know I must learn to love myself, or I may never be able to fully accept and believe that you could love me. Heck, I must learn to love myself, or I will never be able to fully accept and believe that God could love me!

It's going to be a process of healing and changing old, flawed perceptions, I know. I'm coming to see that everything in life is a process and a journey. How intensely frustrating -- I want to be able to get 'there', fast! To me, it's always been the destination that's important, not the journey. Now I've gotta rewire my thinking. Sheesh.

But I liked the theme of a friend's wedding this month: "Two hearts, one journey". So maybe I'm starting to embrace the concept, eh? *grin*