Dearest,

I have been praying much for you in recent weeks. "Keep him faithful to me," I ask our Father. "Don't let him give up hope or get tired of waiting."

I am afraid that the waiting will take its toll on you. Many of my friends are getting married, or engaged, or are simply already in committed relationships. It's easy to feel lonely and left out, to be tempted to take matters into your own hands instead of waiting for God's plans and God's timing.

And I am afraid you might fall into sexual temptation, that you might be unfaithful to me in that sense. I don't know why, but the fear has been strong in me lately. It sometimes feels like the whole world is merrily going on its way, that sex and physical intimacy is now such a casual thing. Just the other day one of my friends told me she "made out" with a client, a married man. "It's nothing, he made me feel attractive and I decided to have some fun. I knew we wouldn't let it go too far," she said. "Why should I feel guilty?"

That's the kind of world we live in now, the kind of world where a person who frowns at such things is called "too straight" or "narrow-minded", a party pooper, a spoilsport. The temptations are everywhere, and sometimes, I know, you just long to have someone close by; I'm afraid that in a moment of weakness you will reach for someone who is already there, instead of remembering me.

I want you to know that I'm longing for you, eagerly awaiting the day when I'll finally meet you. I thank God that you're in His hands, that you love Him, and that you're a godly man who is totally committed to Him. Stay strong, and do what is right. Please don't give up waiting, because I am waiting for you.

Dearest,

Some time ago, Jan went to meet her boyfriend's parents for the first time. And she said, "You know, I've just realised that in all my praying for him, I never thought to pray about his parents!" I was like, "Good gracious, you're right!" *laughs*

We hear so many horror stories about spouses clashing with their in-laws, specifically daughter-in-laws who are unable to get along with mother-in-laws, and I really don't want that to happen. I don't want you to feel torn in two between your mom and I, I don't want to feel like she doesn't want me around or that she's watching my every move to pounce on any mistake I might make. I don't want to be the cause of emnity or resentment in the family.

So I've been praying for your parents lately, especially your mom. I've been praying about the future relationship I'll have with her; I pray that her heart will be open to me. I ask that she'll be able to accept me as a daughter, and that she'll be like a second mother to me. I also ask that she'll be able to release you to make a new beginning with me and not feel insecure or cling to you out of fear that she might lose you or your love. That she won't feel like she needs to compete with me for your affection, your time and your attention.

They say, whoever 'they' are, that change always brings stress. I'm praying your parents will be able to cope with that stress; that they'll be comforted knowing that you are walking in God's will for your life. I'm praying that they'll be supportive about your decision to marry me and at peace with the idea of me becoming your wife.

But I also pray for myself; that I won't resent the place your parents must keep in your heart and life. That I'll be able to build a relationship of trust with your mom and learn from her those wifely characteristics that strengthen a marriage and make a house a home. That I'll love her.

I hope I'll be all your parents have desired and prayed for in a mate for you, dearest. Parents are supposed to be hard to please when it comes to their children's partners; sometimes it seems no one is good enough for "my boy". Hopefully I pass the test :) If they would welcome me with joy... that would mean the world to me.

Dearest,

We're coming to the end of the year, and, I don't know, I've been having a slightly forlorn feeling lately. I don't miss you, exactly, but I think of you often, wonder where you are, what you're doing... whether you're ok, or whether you're struggling, as I am.

You see, I'm not doing too well with this purity thing; although I've kept my emotions and myself for you I wrestle with my thought life. I know that for many guys this is very much an area of great temptation and I wonder if you, too, are facing the same pain and desperation that I've felt.

I've been praying for you. I want you to know that I don't expect you to be perfect. It's funny how I've sometimes worried that I really am looking for a perfect guy, which some of my friends have accused me of doing. But as I write this I realise that you might very well have your own issues and your own struggles and I'm ok with that. I love you and when I meet you I hope that I'll be able to support & encourage you in whatever you're dealing with.

How strange is it that I've never met you and yet I say that I love you? But I do. They say that love is a decision, not a feeling; otherwise it wouldn't last past the "honeymoon" stage when everything is still new and rosy and romantic. So I've made my decision -- I've decided to love you and wait for you.

I'll also try to write more often. I seem to have gotten out of momentum when I stopped writing in June. Even though I re-started in September, I haven't been writing very much since, I know. Don't have any good excuse for that! Forgive me...