The Wilful Sunflower

Found this really great quote today.

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
--E. M. Forster

Very apt for the Malaysian education system.

***

Work proper hasn't started yet; classes resume July 7. Meanwhile many of the staff are on leave, so it's been pretty quiet at the office, and I'm just preparing what I can. Oh, and the Hush Puppies 3-inch heels? Very comfortable but still hard on the feet -- it's the pressure on the balls of the feet that makes you long to kick the shoes off after a long day and soak your poor tired feet in a basin of warm water. Ahhhhh.

Need to work on make-up techniques; Sze Hui keeps saying there's no difference after I apply my make-up. I've already put on three layers of blusher, how many more do I need???

***

Although I miss the convenience of the old house (near to food stalls and all), I realise my new place is actually nearer to my current workplace. Takes about a 45min drive to office in the mornings because of traffic, but if I leave on time in the evenings I can get home in half-an-hour. I'm very pleased I don't get stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic; even in the mornings, although traffic can be slightly on the heavy side, it's always moving. And I like driving. The petrol price increase is a bummer though, and my car runs a 1.6cc engine with automatic transmission. Yikes. But very nice to drive :P (Well, at least in comparison to my previous 660cc manual Kancil!)

***

I'm kinda running away from cell group meetings. Well, not really, but... hmm. I just let things sort of come up and get in the way.

Haven't been in a church cell group for ages, ostensibly coz I was having night classes 3 times a week (6pm-9pm). Now that I've finished all my subjects, I don't have that excuse anymore. So I thought some extra Christian companionship would be good, healthy for the soul and all that. Then, uh, a certain person of a certain position in church (no, not Sivin *cough*) began inviting me to join a specific Life Group (our church's term for cell groups).

Hmmm... it's hard to explain, I'm not sure I feel completely comfortable with this person as far as sharing and opening up goes. I don't have anything against them, in fact I like them -- what I know of them anyway -- just that communication doesn't seem to flow so smoothly between us. Maybe it's a language thing.

I really like that this person is actively inviting me to join their LG and is concerned about me. I'm grateful for that. Find it hard to tell them I would like to be given the space to make the decision of which LG to join. But I also figure I should be fair and just go and see what the LG is like rather than just thinking it probably wouldn't be a good fit. After all, it wouldn't be the first time that I was wrong about something! The problem is, I keep sabo-ing myself. And then I pai seh (embarrassed) because I give reasons to the person for not turning up and both of us know that I'm just making excuses! I always imagine them rolling their eyes and thinking, "That girl ah, full of excuses only..."

Man, the headaches I give my church leaders -_-"