The Wilful Sunflower

When I was moving house, I re-discovered my old journals. I always knew where they were, but I briefly flipped through them...

I have two types of journals: One is linked to Bible reading, in which I write down thoughts about the passages I've read, and write down prayers in response to those passages; the other simply contains letters to God, about whatever. I don't have any particular schedule, but sometimes I'll think, "Oh, I want to talk to God about this, but in a more concrete way than just verbal prayer," so I'll write Him a letter.

And I have a third type of... well, it's not really a journal, but I used to jot down quotes from books that I'd read. Quotes that I felt were worth remembering and which resonated with me in some way. Most of these quotes were from Christian books. It struck me, as I looked through these, that I'd been practicing Philippians 4:8 without realising it:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.

In the past five years or so, more or less ever since I graduated and started working, I've not been doing much of this. I haven't been reading anything very edifying; mostly fiction or romance novels, if I were to be honest. I think I've fallen out of the Phil 4:8 habit. Plus, I haven't been reading the Bible much. Err... make that at all. Except in church services and cell group meetings. Oops.

And I think, perhaps, where I am today is a partial result of having built that foundation during those years. Despite having spent the past five years sort of rebelling against going through the motions of Christianity (and thus ceasing to do any of the things I did before), I never really went through the motions. Everything I used to do, I did because I wanted to, because it was meaningful to me and I believed it would improve my relationship with God, or help me to live a holy life for His sake. And so all these things helped to form the core of who I am, what I'm living for, why I choose to live the way I live.

So I think I've been piggybacking on the past. I'm thankful for my past, but maybe it's time to live Philippians 4:8 again. The problem with losing good habits is that they are hard to reinstate because they then take work!