All I need is a stage name
I am a star! Well, maybe not yet, but I'm on the way to becoming a star! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, today marked my debut on the silver screen! Or, to be precise, the idiot box, but the silver screen can't be far behind. Yes, I will be appearing on television!
I was totally awesome. You will be able to tell from watching my back that I gave an excellent imitation of a person enjoying supper and conversation with a friend. Did anyone ever see such a relaxed back? Such smooth alignment of the spine beneath the absorbent fabric of a cotton T-shirt? Such unassuming, carefree hair tumbling down around a hidden pair of shoulders?
My housemate Sze Hui works at a film production company. "Are you free on Wednesday night?" she asked.
"Why?" I replied. (Always good to be cautious.)
"We need people to act as extras."
"What do you need me to do?" (Still being cautious.)
"Just sit down at a table in the background."
That sounded easy enough, and besides, I've never been close to any of this sort of stuff before, so why not?
Of course, it was difficult not to stare because the actress was (ahem) very well endowed (ahem) -- yes, shapely women never fail to draw my gaze despite the fact that I'm straight, thank you very much; and she had on a pair of insanely high heels -- I always notice what people have on their feet. But I managed to tear my eyes away and pretend a great deal of interest in my meal. I didn't have to pretend interest in my supper companion because she was my housemate, Meera.
So if you see my back, remember to wave and say hi. I won't be able to see you, but others will... and they're bound to wonder why on earth you're waving at the television. It's good to make people wonder -- keeps them on their toes, don't you know. You'll be performing a public service. Take my word for it.