What savvy guys know
Somehow I think we're all looking for love, but women especially seem particularly vulnerable in this area. Men really don't seem to realise how easily women fall for shows of concern and tender words. Or rather, I'd say the smooth-talking charmers know it, and exploit it; the earnest, sincere guys don't, and maybe that's why they always end up complaining that women go for 'bad boys'.
I suppose I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself and my girl friends: it's very seductive when a guy comes along and treats you with courtesy, speaks gently to you, seems to care about you. It makes you feel special. That is terribly seductive, especially in our day and age when we place so much emphasis on "chemistry" and wanting a relationship (or a partner) to make us happy. I want to feel appreciated and cherished. I'm sure men do too -- but the need appears to be stronger in women.
In fact, many girls have been told that their boyfriends / husbands "should love you more than you love him". Why? Because of the worry that men are prone to straying, especially when temptation presents itself. Of course, girls have affairs too, but just like we suffer from the "falling for bad boys" stereotype, men suffer from the "thinking with a certain part of the anatomy other than the brain" stereotype.
I was talking with another friend a few nights ago and we agreed: so what if it's the 21st century and women are no longer restricted to waiting for a man to make the first move? We want a man to make the first move because we crave the knowledge that he really wants me and thinks I am worth pursuing. He must want me enough to get off his butt and DO SOMETHING!
It isn't like a test, that he has to jump through hoops or perform superhuman feats of valour... it's just that we want to be wooed. Personally, I don't believe in playing hard to get. You woo me, you get me (provided you don't come across as a creep or weirdo, and certain other things are in place). It's a security thing... it makes us feel secure in your professed love.
There's been a lot of talk that guys get intimidated by women who take home higher salaries than they do or are more highly educated than they are. Independent women, thinking women, intelligent women -- all are said to threaten men's fragile egos. But the thing is that we're still just human beings inside. However independent I am or intelligent or educated I am, I still need companionship and love; and, if you move past all those things, I am just a normal person inside, with a normal person's fears, weaknesses and insecurities.