Vanity, thy name is woman.
A week before the wedding, my bro and his dear fiancée ask me to sing a song at their wedding.
Now, there is nothing wrong with this. I am perfectly happy to sing a song. Well, maybe not all THAT happy. Not jumping for joy happy. Or turning cartwheels happy. But certainly willing and tickled to be asked. (Not sure about able. I'll let you know if any windowpanes shatter.)
And I don't have many qualms about standing on stage; I was on the debating team back during secondary school years. I don't go weak at the knees at the prospect of speaking or singing in front of a hall full of people, although my heart rate does speed up somewhat alarmingly. This standing on stage thing is not something I go around volunteering for, but if called upon to stand there, then stand there I can and will.
Well, so what's the problem? I'll tell you what's the problem. You want to know what's the problem? The problem is, what am I going to wear?!?
Now, you all know I bought a dress to wear at my brother's wedding. But when we say 'wedding', we actually mean two events: the wedding itself in the bride's hometown, followed by a lunch reception; and a wedding dinner here in the city the night after that. This means I need two outfits. TWO. Because any woman worth her salt wouldn't be caught dead in the same dress two days in a row. Did you read TWO? And how many dresses did I buy? Yes, ONE. You see my dilemma?
Okay, apart from the dress issue, there is also the what song to sing issue and the how do I get the minus one track (accompaniment music) issue. However, since I am a woman, you will understand that the dress issue is of PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE, leading me to scour one of Petaling Jaya's largest shopping malls from top to bottom this afternoon, to no avail. Can you believe it? I am disconsolate! Incredulous! Aghast!