God with skin on
I feel blessed because I am surrounded by people who care deeply for me and are committed to walk alongside me through this part of the journey during this period of my life. "God hasn't left you to go through this alone," Sherman said. "Yes, you're going through a rough patch and it is a difficult path, but He has placed people to walk with you so that you don't need to do it alone."
It is very true, and it is something I had not really noticed. I used to be terrified of relying on people because I never trusted that their interest or concern would last, but now I feel so safe with this group of friends that I am getting used to the idea of them caring for me because... well, just because. Does there need to be a reason?
I'm especially thankful to have met Sherman because he has walked this valley before and knows what it is like to be in far worse places than this. I know that he understands as nobody else can and that, to me, is the most amazing thing. Guess what? I only met him in February this year -- just one month before the first major bout of depression (for want of a better word) hit me. It certainly looks like that meeting was purposely planned by God.
And then there is WinsomeOne and his lovely wife. This couple isn't even in the same country, but I sense their love and prayers from afar; again they are relatively new friends whom I've known for slightly less than two years. They came into my life at a very critical time when I was contemplating giving up my faith because I was struggling so wretchedly with sexual temptation and the resulting guilt & self-condemnation, and I went to meet up with them thinking only that I was going to meet a Net friend and his wife... having no idea whatsoever that WinsomeOne is a trained & experienced counsellor. I certainly didn't expect the meeting to end with them praying for me!
The next time I met them, which was in June this year, I was going through one of my bouts of depression. It's like every time I meet them, I'm going through some kind of crisis. At first I felt like, "Gosh, these people are going to think I'm always such a mess!" Now I realise that they are a gift from God, demonstrating His love to me... that's why they're around at all the crucial moments! (Well, yes, I am blur, but I DO eventually get there...)
So I do thank God for these my friends, and for my housemates, especially Emmy who shows me love by hugging me almost every day. In our Asian culture, hugs are infrequent, few & far between; ChristianityToday columnist Camerin Courtney once wrote about "how little human contact your typical single receives" -- well, if Emmy didn't hug me, I think I would probably go for months with hardly any human touch. Even my parents don't hug me; we're not a huggy kind of family.
God loves me and sent me friends to demonstrate His love for me in ways that I can understand. Isn't that incredible?