The gift of friendship
I'm very grateful for the gift of friendship. Although I've always treasured my friends, it's only now that I realise what a truly precious thing it is to be surrounded by people I love & trust, who accept me as I am yet constantly encourage me to be all I can be.
I think that famous quote by John Donne, "No man is an island", says everything there is to say about our need for friendship. We're human beings, made for companionship and to have relationships with one another. After all, in the Garden of Eden, God already said, "It is not good for man to be alone." At that time, sin hadn't entered the world yet and Adam still was in perfect harmony with God; yet God still said, "It is not good for man to be alone."
Yes, of course God ultimately gave Adam a mate -- but more than a mate, He gave Adam someone else of the same kind to relate to. It is never good for us to be alone; the truth is that we need other people.
As a single woman, sometimes it's so easy to think, "Okay, it's not good for man to be alone. So where's my mate?" as if having a husband is the key to everything and the answer that will fulfil all my needs. And then it's easy to get whiny and impatient and dissatisfied and even bitter. How come God seems to be withholding this wonderful thing, how come it's not happening for me?
...I had my next primal epiphany: God was already attempting to meet my relational needs悠 just wasn't letting him.Names, situations, attempts for relationship that I spurned or謡orse yet妖ismissed presented themselves like witnesses at a trial. There were people already in my life who were part of God's provision for me, yet I did not have eyes to see them because they were not presenting themselves in a form I expected.
I expected.
I expected the answer to my needs to come in the form of one person, a husband, who would bring an extended family. One relationship, one man to fill all my needs? And in the meantime, while I am waiting on whatever, I am not recognizing or receiving God's provision in these areas.
—Margaret Becker, Coming Up For Air (as quoted in ChristianityToday.com)
When I read this, I thought, yeah! I've been blessed with abundant friendships. I don't have a husband, but I have friends who are walking the road of singleness along with me. Then I also have friends who are in committed relationships, friends who are married, and friends who are expecting or already have babies. The richness of it all!
Recently I realised I enjoy all my friendships so much, I'd be happy to have things continue the way they are for the foreseeable future. Except that I have friends who keep on going off and meeting great guys, then get married to those guys :P I realised that, hey, I'm melancholy at weddings not because I want to be the one standing at the altar saying my vows to Mr Special, but because I'm afraid of losing my friends! *wails*
Of course you never really "lose" a true friend, but the fact of the matter is that friendships do change once people get married -- and especially after they have children. Coz the person develops different priorities. And that's as it should be. But I still fear that everybody's gonna go off with someone else and leave me all alone!!
Then God reminded me that I've always believed He brings specific people into my life -- and brings me into others' lives -- to be there when I need them or they need me, sometimes for a season, sometimes for longer. I sort of sensed Him nudging me to trust Him, that He'll not let me be left alone -- that, even if I end up staying single for the rest of my life, He'll provide other friends to walk alongside me if the ones I have right now have to leave to walk a different path. To not fear when situations and circumstances change, because He's still watching out for me and will not leave me to flounder on my own.