Nooooooooooo!
I feel like I'm losing my friends.
By next month, three of my long-time housemates will have moved out this year after accepting job opportunities elsewhere. Two other friends will be moving away soon, as well. Lady Snoflek left for Japan in April. Why is everyone going away??? *cries*
I know that change is inevitable, that people have to move on, progress, grow. But that doesn't mean I have to like it! The mature part of me smiles and wishes them well, while the immature part of me wants to sulk and throw a temper tantrum.
Why can't life always continue just the way it is? Why must it be fraught with uncertainties and new challenges and change??
Of course I know I'm not really losing my friends... it's just that I also realise that things will never go back to the way they used to be. Nothing's ever going to be the same again. What if it becomes different in more of a bad way than a good way?
You see, at heart, I am a coward. Change can be good but it can also be bad. It can bring improvements but it can also bring drawbacks and discomfort. I'd rather not have change at all than to risk that it might be the bad kind of change. Coz you never know until you have stepped over the threshold what kind of change it's gonna be. You always hope it'll be good, but you can never be sure.
I didn't realise I was such a pessimist -- in fact, I usually think of myself as an optimist. But, hey. I haven't seen a lot of good change in my life lately. Plus I like to play safe; I always have. And I definitely feel safer when my friends are around me. :(