More than I deserve
At times I think we should be singing "Our God is a wasteful God" for he seems less concerned with efficiency than we are.
Read this when I got up today. I could wish I lived in a world not so obsessed with results, but that would be a really dumb thing to wish coz it ain't gonna happen. But perhaps I can remember that God isn't so obsessed with results.
If God were really concerned about efficiency, He would NEVER have befriended us and invited us to partake in His dream of restoring the Kingdom. I'm sure He could've done it all much more efficiently without us being around to muck things up with our mistakes and weaknesses and misunderstandings and good intentions gone awry and so on. In the end it really is all about being a friend of God.
However, in the working world things don't operate that way. I mean, efficiency is still much prized & sought after and there is no patience or mercy for the inefficient. But it's good to remember that God is still in control and He is the one who has granted authority to our superiors/bosses/employers anyway.
I do feel that God has given me lots of grace as I've tried to get my act together and work on my self-discipline. In my previous job, I did get occasional talking-to's from my supervisor but I always felt she was much kinder than I deserved, and I'll always be grateful for that. I was always fearful that her kindness (and God's) would run out, but it never did.
God continues to be kind to me, and I'm still wondering how long it will last. Still constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I suppose sooner or later, if this keeps going on, it'll start sinking into my thick skull that THIS IS WHAT GOD IS LIKE and that, hey, He's a nice person, you know! You can trust Him! Oooh what a revelation. *slaps forehead*