The Wilful Sunflower

Sherman & I are conducting an open correspondence on the topic of "friendship". This is my response to his latest letter.

 
Dear Sherman,

Thanks for offering me your computer so I can reply your letter. Did you miss me?? *innocent grin*

We've been talking about friendship being a mutual exchange, but sometimes, like you said, we do come to the table empty-handed. Don't you think that's the case with God? It's not like we can do anything much for Him -- and whatever we do manage to do, we only succeed in doing coz He's the one who enabled us to do it in the first place.

Often, with God, I fear we tend to fall into a pattern of taking, and taking, and taking. Sometimes I think the friendship I have with Him is a very unequal one.

But, as I once told my best friend (Janelle, not God, I'm not that spiritual yet!!), friends do not keep a balance sheet. When I do something for one of my friends, I'm doing it out of a genuine caring & desire to help, not expecting or wanting to get something else in return. Why then do I feel so obligated when a friend chooses to give me a gift or lends me a helping hand?

Again, I'm going to blame our Chinese culture for this. Do you think a lot of the frenzied rushing around in our churches, the busyness in ministry & service and the drivenness to achieve great things for God, is because we might be trying to repay God for His goodness, kindness, faithfulness and graciousness to us???

How upset God must be that we have so perverted His friendship and reduced it to nothing more than a trading of favours! In effect we have rejected these expressions of His love for us, by our insistence that we must do thingsin return to try to make up the balance.

If we are truly friends with God, there is no question of who is giving more or doing more or who owes what to whom. If we then choose to do anything for Him, it is truly an offering of love and there is no obligation or duty in it. This is the way of friendship -- that we can give our all and consider it no loss; that we can freely lay down our lives for our friends, as you said earlier.

In a hurry to go to camp,
Sunflower