"Living by faith"
Since I currently have NO concrete plans for the future -- zilch, nada, elek, kosong -- I can't help but remember Jesus's words, "Do not worry about tomorrow". I'm starting to realise exactly how radical those words are.
Don't worry about tomorrow? Live from day to day? Not something that we are good at doing. In fact, the very idea is anathema to us. How can we not plan or plot the next step -- in fact, a whole series of next steps?
More and more, I see it as a control thing: we want to be in control of where we're going. Of course, we like to say that "man proposes, God disposes", but in actual fact a lot of times we really don't expect God to interfere very much. I remember being really mad at God coz I'd wanted to study Mass Communications in uni, but circumstances sorta "forced" me to switch to Law instead. (It was my choice, but I felt cornered into making that choice.) I raged at Him: "You're supposed to be on my side!" Heh. How spoilt does that sound? *sheepish grin*
To not have plans is to not have even the illusion of control. Faith, it transpires, is a very scary thing. Hey, we're talking about trusting God and letting Him take the reins, believing that even if I don't know where I'm going, God knows, and that's enough coz He's the One bringing me there.
"Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" -- basically, do what you're supposed to do, and God will take care of everything else. I was just thinking how dumb this sounds to the average thinking person. Someone close to me is going into so-called "full-time Christian ministry" and will be drawing a salary less than $1,000. My first thought was, "How is he going to survive on that?!"
And then I remembered this Bible verse and something clicked. Do what God has called you to do, and He'll take care of the rest. It doesn't make sense to anybody who doesn't know or believe in our God, because it takes faith to trust that God will come through and won't leave you hanging. Without the "God factor", it just looks like you're taking a ridiculous risk and asking for trouble. But "your Father knows what you need before you ask Him" (Matthew 6:8).
The point is, some things look foolish when seen in a conventional way -- the world's way. It is foolish not to have plans. It is foolish to take on a job that pays so little. It is foolish to live one day at a time. But it makes perfect sense when I put God into the picture, because I know He's the one who holds my future, and He's in control of things which I couldn't control anyway even if I tried. I can't help but think that this is one instance where "God has made foolish the wisdom of the world" (I Corinthians 1:20).
Not everybody is meant to live this way. However, if you are, the point is: it's okay not to know where you're going. It's okay not to have concrete plans. It's okay to live with a degree of uncertainty. Walking with God always seems to be a very step-by-step thing. I'm discovering that, as I live in the moment and see Him come through for me, I'm gathering enough faith to trust Him for the next moment. And so on for the next and the next and the next... So I'm going somewhere. I don't know exactly where, but I'll find out when I get there! ;)