The Wilful Sunflower

I'm trying out this new dating service in town. Well, they offered me a three-month free trial, so I thought, why not? They just set you up on a series of blind dates, after all. Could be interesting. You are talking to the girl who went speed-dating to see what it would be like, so this shouldn't be at all surprising :)

Today I went for the consultation and had to fill in a profile about myself and the kind of guy I'm looking for, and field personal questions. They do this to get to know you so that, hopefully, they can find better matches for you...

The first question that stumped me was one about my "style". I consulted Bob, my best friend Janelle, and my housemates Sharon & Emmy on this one, sending out text messages to them. I figured they might know how to describe my style. Am I sophisticated? Classical? Trendy? Casual? Business? Sporty?

When I asked what my style is, Janelle instantly responded, "Eclectic," to which I replied, "That's not one of the options on the list provided!" Sharon said, "Casual and trendy," but when I told her I could only choose one, she suggested, "Put 'casual'. You look trendy when you dress up for functions, but normally you're always very casual."

Emmy thought I'm mostly trendy and casual. "Sometimes classic." Bob, predictably, said, "Casual." He has always thought me too casual (his word was "sloppy"). In the end I went with the majority and chose 'casual'.

I discovered that I'm pretty easy-going about the attributes I would like to see in a person of the opposite sex, which made things difficult coz the questionnaire required me to be specific about what I do & do not like. The only thing I'm very adamant about is that he be a Christian and must not smoke. Social drinking is okay, even though I myself don't like wine, shandy, beer or any type of alcoholic drink. (Except maybe Bailey's Irish Cream )

Anyway, the really difficult part came when I had to choose between two attributes. Introvert or extrovert? Organised or spontaneous? Serious or light-hearted? Tactful or blunt? Generous or thrifty? I was like, okay, wait a minute, I want a guy who's thrifty and manages money well... but on the other hand, I also do want him to be generous with me! *rolls eyes*

Then there was the chat with the consultant, where she asked me more in-depth questions about myself, my expectations of a partner, my values, etc. She asked me to tell her one thing about myself that only my best friend knows, and I was confronted by a dilemma: you see, most of the things others would consider private and only confide to their nearest & dearest, I've actually written about on this blog. So, err, um, I couldn't really think of anything Janelle might know that nobody else does!!

The difference is that I usually tell Janelle the stuff on the blog before it goes on the blog, and she gets much more detail than you guys do. But by and large my life's quite an open book (even though I don't write about everything that happens in my life, difficult as that may be for some of you to believe -- *grin*). So I really had to rack my brains for that one.

I was also asked, "What is the one thing about you that you wish people would see when they first meet you?" and, "What is the one thing about you that people always notice?" Again, difficult questions, both.

To the first, I replied that I wished people would look beneath the surface and see the vulnerable person beneath. Coz I think a lot of times people see me as strong and confident, and they assume I'm okay, so they focus on others who are more obviously needy. I'm also often in the position of being a listener and offering comfort/counsel/support, and people tend not to realise that I myself could do with some encouragement or reassurance sometimes :)

To the second, I replied that people have told me that I'm always cheerful and many people have commented on how "real" and "open" I am. I didn't tell the consultant about my blog, but the truth is, the blog does make a difference, to a certain extent.

I'm more inclined to tell people stuff face-to-face now which I might otherwise have just kept quiet about, coz I figure it's on the blog anyway and they could just stumble upon the blog and read it for themselves, so I might as well tell them. For example, when I was going for counselling sessions with one of my church leaders, I did mention it openly to quite a number of people. Heck, it was on the blog anyway. What would be the point of keeping mum?