The Wilful Sunflower

I assume, if you are reading this blog, you are sitting down in front of your computer. Which is a good thing, coz -- brace yourself -- I RESIGNED FROM MY JOB TODAY.

(Did anybody faint??? )

Yes, I'm leaving journalism. And yes, in this context, my journalism FAQ posts are the supreme irony (which I was aware of as I wrote the second post!)

As far back as April last year, I wrote about suffering from burnout. Things got better after that, but recently I've been experiencing symptoms again. The other day I was writing something and hated my piece so much that even I, the writer, didn't want to read it!

You know you are in a very bad state when you, the writer, hate your work. I listen to lots of writers express doubts about the quality of their work... but if you can't even stand to read your own stuff, that's reaaaaaallllyyy bad.

Plus, if you, like me, have never had any trouble writing anything at all, and then have difficulty writing what should be a straightforward, engaging article for a newspaper, you know you are in serious trouble.

So, to put it simply, I needed a change and a break from writing for a living. When I told my boss this, she said, "It's kinda weird considering that you have a blog," but I replied that writing for work and writing for personal pleasure are two totally different things. Writing for publication is of course a great deal more structured and involves a lot of other considerations... you can't just simply plonk something there, like you can do on a blog ;)

I'll be taking up a position as one of the assistant editors in a publishing house come Nov 1. They publish interesting non-fiction books, and I'm excited at the opportunity to pick up new skills and try something new.

At the same time, it's scary, of course... my current job is the first "real" job I've had since graduating and I've been here for four years. I've enjoyed my time with The Star and will especially miss my colleagues and my boss, with whom I have a great working relationship.

And yes, this is the second change that I mentioned some time ago. I was offered the job on the morning I left for the Young Adults Camp. I spent the whole camp knowing that certain things in my life were going to change in a BIG way, and coming to terms with what that might mean... the fear of the unknown, basically.

I don't like being unsure of what's going to happen next, and having control wrested from me. But now I don't have a choice, coz I don't really know what the working environment in my new job is going to be like, I don't know what my bosses are going to be like or my colleagues are going to be like. I'm moving away from the comfortable and familiar, and I gotta trust God & depend on Him. Isn't He sneaky sometimes? ;)