My dating philosophy
Many years ago, I decided I wasn't going to get into a relationship with any guy that I couldn't see myself marrying. Why invest so much in the relationship, I reasoned, if it isn't going to go anywhere?
But sometime over the past few years, I've come to accept that the kind of person I might think is suitable may not really be so suitable after all, and only God knows what kind of man I'd really need. I've told myself that I won't write off any guy as long as he loves the Lord and is committed to growing in Him. That's a good place to start, I feel. Coz I think I might have the tendency to expect the poor fella to be a little too perfect, and write him off at first acquaintance just because he has one or two characteristics that don't fit The List, or because I think he's not 'my type'. I would at least try to get to know him and go on a few dates with him before making any decision. My aunt calls it 'exploring' ;)
Why am I writing about this? Coz I read this article by Henry Cloud, encouraging single people not to be so narrow-minded about dating.
While I can't agree that "dating is not about marriage", I do think that there's no need to treat dating like a life-and-death matter. It's not like your life is doomed if you go out with a person a couple of times and discover that you might not make good partners after all; you might even gain a friend instead. At least, that's my attitude to it! (Not that I've had much chance to put this into practice... Malaysian guys don't seem to believe in dating, unless it's in the sense of an already established couple going out together.)
As for "seeing dating as an end in itself", well, I don't quite agree with that either, but I do agree that I want to enjoy the activity and the company without worrying too much about whether anything more is going to develop from it. I see it as a 'getting-to-know-you' time, and it makes sense to enjoy the process rather than be always obsessively looking towards the end result.
Okay, now that I've got all that sorted out in my head, all I need to do is find someone who wants to date me... :P