Single by choice
It's insanely annoying that a girl can't occasionally whine about being single (and prospectless) without people thinking that she's desperate. Excuse me?
Ok, it's like this. Like I told Blink, say, for example, you are in financial difficulties and you have a father who's filty rich but also rather tight-fisted. He's not about to part with one penny of his money, choosing instead to let you muddle through on your own. As a result you're basically waiting for him to die so you can get your inheritance, because that would really, really help. Of course you know he's gonna die sooner or later -- you just don't know when, which is the frustrating part! In the same way, it's not knowing when love & marriage is gonna come around that frustrates me.
Blink said it was a terrible analogy and I started laughing. It is, isn't it? But the more I think about it, maybe it's not so far off the mark. I mean, very few people actively wish for their father's demise, no matter how stubborn or annoying the father happens to be. So it's sort of like a thought that stays at the back of your mind: Hey, if he were to go, I really could find some use for all that moolah... but you're not sitting down there watching him like a hawk and willing his next breath to be his last.
In the same way, this whole marriage thing usually sits at the back of my mind. I don't constantly brood about it (despite what some might consider appearances to the contrary). But hey, it would be nice to be married one day, y'know? And I wanna have kids while I'm still young...
I was reading this book that says all singles are single by choice. You know, it probably wouldn't be too hard to go out and snag some random guy and get married in less time than it takes to say "bridesmaid". Because I prefer to be more discerning (okay, okay, picky), I refuse to do that. Therefore, I really am single by choice. And I don't regret that at all.
The author goes on to say:
Even your choice to be a Christian has narrowed the field. As a Christian, you've made a lot of choices that non-Christian singles haven't. You're not of this world, and you don't follow their standards. You've chosen to follow Christ, and it has set you apart. It has limited your choices.Let me give you a few examples. You don't go to some of the places that non-Christian singles go. You don't think along the same lines as non-Christian singles do. You don't even approach your work and your relationships with others the way they do. And that's because of a choice you've made. A choice for life -- a choice for Jesus Christ.
-- Michael Cavanaugh, God's Call To The Single Adult
The author goes on to say that if you are single, and a Christian, chances are you're single because you haven't been willing to compromise your beliefs and your principles in the matter of choosing a mate. In this sense, singleness is not a sign of failure (failure to find someone, failure to be a person worthy of love) but simply the price we are willing to pay to follow God. We're single for Him.
I like this idea very much. Sometimes I wonder why God is taking so long to bring my future partner into my life, and it feels as if He's depriving me of something good. But I was the one who decided to wait for His timing & purposes, so I should remember that I'm single by choice! Duhh... *smacks forehead*