The Wilful Sunflower

On Saturday, the sermon was about building strong families and I was... frustrated.

Likening a family to a garden, the pastor said, "Your family is the most important field you'll ever tend." I gritted my teeth and muttered in my mind: "I totally agree, and I would love to tend that particular field, but I can't have a family without a husband!!!!"

Arrrrrrggghhhh.

This CNY I was fortunate coz nobody, not even my normally inquisitive relatives, actually brought up the question of my non-existent love-life. Maybe coz Blink's finally -- and newly -- attached and he deflected all the attention off me. But in the midst of meeting up with old friends, I started to feel like everybody was either already involved in serious relationships, engaged, married, or having children.

Arrrrrrggghhhh.

Plus, my cousin, who is the same age as me, has already legally registered her marriage and will be throwing the wedding dinner in a few months' time. (In Chinese tradition, the bride & groom usually throw a wedding banquet for all the relatives on the bride's side, as well as all of those on the groom's side. It's sort of a way to announce to everybody that they're now married and introduce the new spouse to the greater extended family. Also to show that there was nothing havey-cavey about the match, they're not "living in sin" or anything like that. As far as I know, you are not officially considered "married" till you actually hold the wedding dinner.)

Now, this is also a cause of frustration to me coz, from a materialistic & worldly perspective, I am supposedly the more "successful" one compared to my cousin. Academically, I have better qualifications and I also hold a higher paying (not to mention outwardly more glamorous... or so everybody seems to think) job than she does. She has chosen to stay back in our little hometown, whereas I've settled down in the bright lights of the big city. But... and this is a BIG but... she has found someone to love, who also loves her. And I'm still alone. *sniff, sniff*

So what on earth is wrong with me??!?!?! And what is the use of all that success and so-called glamour??!?!

Okay okay... snap out of it, Sunflower. Quit the pity party already, will ya?

Arrrrrrggghhhh.

And if one more person tells me that it will come, just be patient because God has His own timing, I will SCREAM!!!!! Not to mention probably strangle the fella!!!! So beware. You Have Been Warned. :p