Lonely blues
I think I have watched too much of The Phantom of the Opera. Oh wait... I only saw it twice. Must be all the romance novels I've been reading, then. Or maybe the fact that lots of people around me are either getting into relationships, getting engaged, or getting married. Not to mention having babies.
You see, a melancholy has come over me, and... I'm feeling lonely. Bleargh.
I think the older I get (and yes, I know I'm not THAT old yet) the less I believe in fairy tales. I've always loved those, you know. Happy endings. All the suffering and pain and trials at an end. The beautiful princess gets the handsome prince she deserves, who will cherish her till the end of her days.
Of course I know real life doesn't work that way, especially in respect to "happily ever afters". But I can't stop dreaming of finding someone who will love me for who I am and who will treasure the person I am inside. There's one song in The Phantom of the Opera that I really like and two lines that jumped out at me: "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime; let me lead you from your solitude..." [from the duet All I Ask of You between Raoul and Christine]. Basically, I want somebody to lead me from my solitude. (But please don't send me kooky emails, thank you very much.) (Yes, I have gotten a few of those -- kooky emails, I mean.)
The longer it takes to happen the less I believe that it actually will happen to me. Then I read this today and I thought, Gosh, I thought that only happens in Mills & Boon romance novels. Instant chemistry? Deep sense of connection? The "it feels so right" cliché? Wasn't this supposed to also be one of the myths? Apparently not.
Turned out that it was too good to be true; the guy in that case was already married. And from the sound of it, not actually what a woman would really want. But I know the author must've been so tempted. Coz I would have been. It's finally happening! What I've waited so long for! -- and then, WHAM! Gone. Poof. Hopes up in smoke.
Maybe I should just be thankful that nothing has happened to make me more disappointed than I already am, eh? Having nothing happen is better than having something happen and then having it blow up in your face. But that kind of thinking doesn't make me any less lonely than I am right now.