Why? Why?
Bob called me out for lunch yesterday to ask if I were okay.
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I replied.
"I noticed you haven't been going to church..."
If it were coming from anyone other than him, I'd probably have gotten really defensive. But Bob's the last person I'd expect to give me the whole "You bad Christian, you haven't been going to church, you must be backsliding" lecture, so I stayed calm (although I must admit I was a bit surprised!).
He said something like not going to church is not really an issue to him; it's the WHY that he's concerned about. Why am I not going to church?
"Aside from the Sunday you were at home, when your mother forced you to go to church, and the other Sunday when I dragged you there, you haven't gone to church in two months. Why?"
The short answer? I don't know.
My church attendance has been totally erratic. On the other hand, funnily enough, I've been attending cell group meetings pretty regularly. I enjoy cell group coz of the interaction and the sharing. But church... oh, I don't know. Being lonely in church is only a very small aspect of it. Perhaps another is my frustration at not hearing God speak to me during the service -- I sometimes feel like there is a disconnection somewhere. But apart from that... I really don't know.