Depending on the Rock
The other day a new colleague came up to me and asked me how to write a feature article. I looked blank. You mean there's a method?!?
Personally, I hate it when I try to get people to explain how they do things and they say, "It just comes naturally." I mean, that's so helpful, right? But whaddya know, here I was, telling the poor guy, "Uh, it just comes naturally..." Well, it DOES! What else did you expect me to say? :P
I've never paid much attention to my writing skills coz to me it's like, yeah, I can write, so what's the big deal? Can't everybody? So I always feel a little mystified when people say nice things about my writing or complement me about it. It's slightly embarrassing coz I don't feel like I did anything to earn those compliments -- all I did was put down some words on a page or a screen!
Now that I think about it, I wonder why I never asked the same question my colleague asked. I'm not trained to write; I don't have any background in journalism or Mass Communications, yet when I first joined the company, the writing part was absolutely the last thing I ever worried about. And I never did ask anybody how to write a feature article. I just sorta sat down and... wrote.
It was only later when I joined some internal training courses that I learnt more about the mechanics and styles of writing (eg. starting an article with an anecdote, an interesting fact, or a "lead" paragraph that gives readers a rough idea what the rest of your article is going to talk about). But by and large I still just sit down and write, and everything just comes out the way it does.
With the recent difficulties I've been having in this department, I'm starting to realise that I've taken my writing for granted in more ways than one. Writing was always something I knew I could do, so I never thought of including God in that endeavour. Yes, I always wanted to write for Him, but I had never included Him in the writing process itself.
Ever since I've started to have problems writing stuff (which is something I find very scary), I've had to start relying on God to help me with my writing. You have no idea. I pray when I'm looking for people to interview, I pray when I'm doing research in preparation for the interview, I pray when I call them up or go to interview them, I pray when I'm writing the article. I literally have to pray from start to finish. I NEVER, EVER used to do this. I had always kinda blithely floated through the whole process.
To me it's like as if I've had my foundations rocked away and am now forced to reach out and grab for something to support me in the rollicking sea that threatens to drown me. That's how I feel. Suddenly it's like, Oh God, I can't do this by myself. Help!!!
So much for self-sufficiency, eh? I'm learning all over again just how inadequate and helpless I am without God. I don't think I was arrogant about my writing abilities before, but if I did take any pride in them then I think that's definitely eroding day by day. It's like God is reminding me once again, "Apart from Me you can do nothing."