Cured of temporary insanity
I got a card from Mom a few days ago, apologising for nagging me whilst I was back home and telling me that I'm actually always welcome there. She also asked me to come back more often. I'm wondering whether she read my mind... I didn't have any intention of going back again till at least Chinese New Year. (That's not as bad as it sounds -- CNY is in February, only a few months away!)
It's so weird to have Mom apologising for nagging me. I've never heard of a mother apologising for nagging her children before! Everybody says, "That's what moms do," like as if it's an accepted part of the job description or something. Of course, I always retort, "I certainly hope I won't!", but it's far too early to tell ;)
Before I went home, I had actually been entertaining thoughts of going back to live in my hometown, and had been trying to find a way to make the idea viable (ie. find a way to cari makan or make a living there). I was feeling nostalgic for the quiet and simplicity of the small town compared to the bustle and pressures of the city.
Going home cured me of that temporary insanity.
"I don't think you should go back to your hometown. It'll be difficult career-wise, and I think that living there would bore you before too long," a friend had said. And yes, I did get bored. But I think if I were working there, I wouldn't be bored coz I'd be busy. I'd have stuff to do.
No, it's not the being bored part that worries me. The problem is that I've gotten used to living on my own and being answerable only to myself, and I don't know if I could move back in with my parents again, ever. I've gotten used to doing my own thing without being questioned, like hopping out to zip to 7-11 at midnight coz I feel like a Pepsi. I wouldn't be able to do that back home (the fact that there are no 7-11s in my hometown is quite beside the point!).
You know, when I went home, I brought back a stack of VCDs and DVDs to watch, coz it was my holiday and it wasn't like I had anything better to do. Some were mine and some were borrowed, but when Mom asked, I said they were ALL borrowed... coz I knew she'd make a lot of noise about me wasting money buying "so many" VCDs and so on so forth. It's just easier sometimes to lie to avoid all the questions and lectures and snide remarks. I am a coward, I know, but there it is.
I was sooooooooo glad to come back to the big city after 8 days at home. I will never ever ever go home for so long again if I can help it -- four days might be just nice, I think. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and they love me, but we just seem to relate better when we're not getting in each other's hair.