Housemates
I have the bestest housemates. I went home after work yesterday and Adeline asked if I was okay, coz I'd already sent her text messages about the situation. We went to her room and she held me while I cried on her shoulder, then she cooked instant noodles for me (tom yam flavour!) because I hadn't had dinner yet. Wow.
I've stayed away from home since I was 18 and have shared living space with others all the while. In fact, I only began having a room to myself when I started working in Oct 2001. It was funny, when I first left home I remember praying for a Christian roommate and ended up being allocated to share the master bedroom of the flat with three Buddhist roommates!
But I never had any trouble with any of my roommates throughout the years. I've heard horror stories, of course, but I've always had amazingly considerate, tolerant roommates. Incidentally, the first year I was away from home, it was my three Buddhist housemates who routinely helped to wake me up in the mornings before I got used to the sound of the alarm clock ;)
Still, I've really struck gold in my current housemates. The camaraderie amongst us is something new to me. We hang out together, act crazy sometimes, laugh and joke, share problems & difficulties, rejoice over triumphs and achievements, pray for one another, keep each other accountable. (On a Sunday morning, I often hear this: "Aren't you going to church?" hahaha)
I think living with my housemates is excellent preparation for marriage: we see the best and worst of each other, and have to learn to compromise and give & take. Like, once in a while I see a plate or a cup in the sink, and it wouldn't cost me anything to just wash 'em. One part of me says, "Hey, let the person get back here and wash her own plate. Why should I do it for her?"; another part says, "Come on -- it's only one plate! What's the big deal?" Of course, if this keeps recurring, it'd be a problem. We're usually quite good at cleaning up after ourselves, but sometimes we're in a rush, dump the plate, and later forget to come back and wash it. It's happened to me -- could happen to anyone.
Occasionally I get inconvenienced, asked for favours, and so on, and have to learn to be a bit more selfless (ugh) and remember what it's like to be in the same position as the other person, and do what I can. It's not always easy, and I have several times caught myself wanting to ask, "However did you manage before I came along?" (note the sarcasm, sigh). The more I have to go out of my way, the more tempted I am to say that. Oops. At least I've never actually said it.
So yeah, I think living with my housemates is excellent preparation for marriage. Sometimes we rub each other the wrong way, sometimes one (or more!) of us is in a bad mood, sometimes we need each other's help (at inconvenient times, too), sometimes we've gotta think of the other person rather than just me, me, me. But we still gotta live together and we still care about each other so we somehow make it work :)