And all that
There's this book I have (but haven't read) hilariously titled, I Kissed A Lot Of Frogs But The Prince Hasn't Come, by Kathleen Hardaway. Crosswalk.com recently published an interview with her, which I read with great interest coz it addresses almost all the issues I constantly come up against!
I mean, like the conflicting messages of simply waiting for God to bring someone, versus going out to look or even moving to a place/church/social group etc. with more men that really seems to be a perennial issue on this blog, in case you haven't noticed. Hardly anyone can understand why I'm not getting out there and trying to meet more guys, and so on so forth.
The thing is, I don't believe there's anything wrong with looking, per se, but I do think there's no need to be desperately searching. Whenever I start desperately searching, I know my focus has gone haywire and that I'm starting to let this relationship thing consume me. Anyway, a desperate woman isn't a pretty sight :P
But that's just me, y'know? I happen to believe that God wants ME to wait. I didn't say that everybody else ought to simply wait, too. I agree when Hardaway says that God works differently with each person. There's no formula (unfortunately! Wouldn't it be so much simpler if there were?!).
Hardaway also addressed the advice I've received a zillion times: It Will Come When You're Not Looking, otherwise known as, It Will Only Come When You've Completely Surrendered To God. She says, "Right. I surrendered 20 years ago. Hasn't happened for me yet." LOL
A friend who's in a committed relationship recently said to me that surrendering doesn't stop when you find your mate. She said she has to daily surrender her boyfriend to God, because there's such a temptation to hold tightly onto him and to be selfish about the relationship, perhaps even to let him become more important to her than God is. I think that makes sense. You never surrender once and then think you're done. It's a constant process, which is utterly irritating can't I just surrender once and sit back, knowing I'm all okay now? No? Blast.
So I've just surrendered again. I've had to remind myself not to worry about when I'm gonna meet the guy or how long God takes; what's important is just staying faithful & trusting God. I've had to reaffirm the fact that I'm not waiting for something to happen, I'm waiting on God, and that means I'm to go on doing whatever God calls me to do, not sit on my bum asking God to hurry up and send the fella to me. Ha. Of course, doing what God calls me to do requires MORE surrendering. Hmph.