The Wilful Sunflower

Technically, 'Sunflower' is not my real name. It is a name I chose myself when I was 15, and is not on any of my official identification documents.

How's that for a bombshell?! And here you guys thought you knew everything there was to know about me *grin*

But almost everyone I know calls me 'Sunflower' now. When I go back to my hometown and call up old friends, I have to remember to identify myself by my Chinese name, instead of the 'Sunflower' which trips so easily off my tongue. Otherwise, nobody would know who was calling!

Does this mean I'm deluding people into thinking my name is really Sunflower when it isn't?

In Malaysia, it's common for Chinese to add an English or a "Christian" name in front of their surnames. People do it for various reasons. Some want a name with religious significance. Others want to be more "Western". Yet others prefer to have a name that people will remember easily and not misspell and mispronounce all the time. I fall into that third category.

I've always been very particular about my name, coz my name embodies the person whom I am. I think I caught this from Dad, who once became livid when he heard one of my friends referring to me by my surname (or the family name) when I was in primary school. "Tell your friends not to call you that," he said. "That isn't your name!"

By the time I reached my teens, I was fed-up of having my name mangled all the time. Chinese names are notoriously difficult to pronounce and spell. Mine was no exception. So when I got baptised at 15, I determined to have an English/"Christian" name.

I remember making lists and lists of names and their meanings, because I wanted a name that meant something. I didn't want any old name just because it sounded nice or exotic. In the end I settled on 'Sunflower' coz it goes well with my surname, and because it has the same meaning as my Chinese name: it means 'peace'.

But of course, at that time everybody around me already knew me by my Chinese name, so I only used my new name in correspondence with my pen-pals. I'd come home from school and ask Mom if there were any letters for me, and she'd say, "No letters for you. There's one for an 'Sunflower', but I don't know who she is..." "MOOOOOOOOM!" I'd groan, and go get the letter.

Later, when I went to college, I introduced myself to everyone as 'Sunflower'. And made the name truly my own :)

So, is my name really 'Sunflower'? You decide...