No regrets
A friend of mine had an elder brother pass away suddenly last week. As I watched her preparing to go back to her hometown to be with her family, I imagined getting a call out of the blue, telling me one of my parents had passed away. Would I have any regrets once they're gone? Wish certain words unsaid, perhaps, or lament that I'd left others unspoken? Dwell on things I hadn't done, or shouldn't have done?
And I realised that I'm at peace with my parents. For perhaps the first time since my uncomplicated childhood days.
My relationship with Dad is the best it's ever been. Which is amazing, really, considering where we were about 8 years ago.
Last week one of my uncles visited my little hometown, and when he came back here he brought along with him a bunch of rambutans (a small red fruit with "hairy" skin; 'rambut' literally means 'hair' in Malay) from the tree in our garden. Dad had asked him to bring the fruit back here for me.
Now, rambutan isn't exactly my favourite fruit, but I've never eaten a single one from our tree. Our tree didn't bear fruit for many years, and when it sluggishly began to do so, its sporadic timing never happened to coincide with my periodical visits home. So, I don't know, it was like Dad had thought of me and realised I was missing out, and wanted to share the enjoyment with me. This is something I couldn't possibly find anywhere else -- there are rambutans for sale in the market, of course, but they wouldn't be from our tree :)
It was a truly sweet gesture and made me realise more than ever how much he loves me.
On his birthday last month, I sent him a card and inside, I told him how much I love & admire him and am grateful to him for the way he has provided for our family. (Dad's the sole breadwinner -- not an easy job!) If Dad were to die tomorrow, I wouldn't regret a thing. Coz I've told him what's in my heart, and he knows how important and special he is to me. And I know, too, how much he loves me, even if he can't say it!