God's faithfulness
As I read others' stories, I'm constantly reminded how sheltered and protected I was as a child. I grew up with Christian parents okay, so maybe they weren't perfect, and I've had some issues with them, but I'll always be thankful for the way they raised me.
It scares me sometimes, how children are so vulnerable. A friend I was chatting with yesterday said she doesn't want children because "kids bear the brunt of everything (when things go wrong)". You try to protect your kids, but how would you know if, perhaps, a relative or close family friend is secretly abusing them sexually? You don't want to believe such things can happen... but they do.
And even if you do manage to protect them, you still don't know how your children are going to turn out. Sarah Marbeck, the model (and possibly high-class call girl) who claimed she had an affair with footballer David Beckham, has a father who has been described by the press as "deeply religious" and a "protective father". Reports in Malaysian papers said Sarah's former schoolmates recall her being "a regular church-goer, model pupil and head prefect of her primary school". What happened?
I grew up very sheltered and I like to joke about how our television viewing was restricted and how we never listened to songs on the radio, always playing cassettes of songs with Christian themes... but the truth is, I'm actually very grateful for that. I think my parents could've been a little less strict, of course. But by and large they protected me until I was able to make my own choices and the boundaries they'd set had taught me how to make wise choices. I don't mean just in the area of faith and personal beliefs, either.
The funny thing is, I don't remember Mom or Dad ever talking to me about relationships and boyfriends. We had the obligatory "sex talk" when I asked how babies were created specifically, I wondered how the guy's genes and the girl's genes got together! but I don't recall them warning me not to "do it" till I was married or anything like that. Abstaining from pre-marital sex was a decision I made, seemingly all on my own... although, now that I think of it, our church Youth Group did have periodical BGR (boy-girl relationship) talks...
A few days ago, I was looking through some of my old letters to God (I'd gotten into the habit of writing letters to God because that made me feel closer to Him and made Him feel more "real" to me). The first letter that mentions my future husband is dated Jan 2, 1995, when I was 16 going on 17. It's quite amazing to read something I wrote so long ago and to re-discover the young girl I was then.
Among other things, I wrote about the possibility of remaining single, about the characteristics I was hoping for in a future partner, about raising godly children, about letting God prepare me to be a wife and mother. "Help me not to put him [my future husband] on a pedestal, but to regard him as a human who will also make mistakes so that I will not be disillusioned when that does happen," I wrote. Wow. Was I really that mature at 16??!
That letter was also the one where I asked God to guard my heart until the time is right and the right man comes along. Reading it, I realised I shouldn't complain about still being single & available at 26, because God is answering my prayer!!! He has been awesomely faithful and has consistently kept me from making wrong or unwise choices in relationships with the opposite sex.
I'll always be thankful to Him for that. And, probably, my future husband will be, too ;)