The Wilful Sunflower

More and more, I'm beginning to find that each Sunday service is a time of rededication for me. I'm discovering that, as I sing, I reaffirm the truths I believe in and long once again to be all that God calls me to be -- a person who is surrendered to Him, putting Him above all else; a person who lives a holy & pure life, walking in obedience; a person whom He can use to bless & impact others.

I used to think rededication was only for those people who had sort of gone badly "off track" and wanted to come back. When I was in my teens, my relationship with God seemed rather up and down and I'd periodically rededicate my life to Him, especially at youth camps and evangelistic rallies.

It used to frustrate me. I'd beat myself up: Why can't I be more consistent in my Christian walk? Why do I always break the promises I make to God? Why do I allow my relationship with God to yo-yo all the time?

But Mike Yaconelli wrote,

Hundreds -- maybe even thousands -- of decisions make up genuine growth, some moving us closer to God, some moving us further away, but all of them ultimately contributing to a deeper, richer and more textured relationship with God.

During my adolescence I made hundreds of decisions to become a Christian, to re-become a Christian, to re-dedicate my life to God, to re-dedicate my re-dedication, to go into full-time Christian service, to treat my parents better, to give God my hormones... I meant every one of those decisions, yet I only successfully acted on most of them for about two or three days. Still, those two or three days laid the groundwork for the next decision. I couldn't have made the next decision if I had not made the previous one. I was growing one decision at a time. No question about it, my growing looked inconsistent: two steps backward, one step forward, up and down, in and out, over and under. But I was growing, all the same.
-- Messy Spirituality (emphasis is the author's)

I don't know about you, but when I read that part about him having made "hundreds of decisions" during his adolescence, I was like, Yes! That is SO me!! *rueful smile*

Now I no longer see rededications as just admissions of failure, but I see them as another step in my growth as a Christian. I see them as an acknowledgement that yes, I can't do this alone, which is precisely why I need God; I see them as an affirmation that yes, I do want to follow God, and I do still desire to keep those promises I'd made before. Also, I see them as opportunities to ask for the strength to follow through on whatever I'd promised Him in the first place.

So I rejoice that every Sunday service is a time of rededication for me. I love Sunday service because I'm reminded of who God is, and who I am; of the things He's promised me, and the things I've promised Him; of His goodness and faithfulness to me, and His amazing grace that has blessed me in ways I do not deserve. Every Sunday I rejoice that God has brought me this far, and every Sunday I pray again that I would continue to run this race till the end and "fight the good fight" (II Timothy 4:7).