Close encounters of the church kind
One of the strangest questions has to be the one church-goers typically ask someone who's new to their church: "How did you find the service?". It scares me to think that I've probably asked this question before.
I mean, what is there to say, really? Fantastic? Wonderful? Mesmerising? Stupendous?
The last few times, I've said the service was "normal". Because that's the truth. They were ordinary charismatic services with singing and a sermon. And then one of my friends jumped on me for "judging" that particular church. She doesn't even have any affiliations with it she belongs to another church altogether!
On Sunday, I got THE question twice. After service, I filled in a "visitor's card" like any other good visitor looking for a church family, and trooped along to the Visitor's Lounge. There I was greeted by a lady who was trying her best to be friendly and helpful but it was obvious she wasn't sure what to do or say.
She did the usual asked me which church I'm with, and how I'd found the service. When I told her I found it "normal", she then told me to "give it time", and proceeded to tell me about cell groups, how they work, the benefits of joining one. I behaved myself, didn't tell her I've been in church for years and know what a cell group is; I just smiled and nodded and said I would love to try joining one of theirs.
She gave me a print-out list of all the various cell group leaders and their phone numbers, plus the location of their individual cell groups, saying perhaps I could give one particular leader a call, because his group meets near my house. I was wondering, since when does the visitor have to call the cell leader about joining a cell group? Aren't THEY supposed to do their follow-up and call ME??? Anyway, since I was behaving myself I just nodded and thanked her and then made my escape as soon as possible, because she was feeling awkward and so was I.
One of the things I do when I visit new churches is to see whether anyone will talk to me. I was impressed when I went to New Life Restoration Centre a few months back coz I happened to sit near a cell group leader and when she saw me alone, she asked if I was new, got to know me, and generally took me under her wing. Their cell group invited me for lunch after service and went, one whole gang, off to Klang for bak kut teh! (Spicy sparerib consomme)
This didn't happen in Glad Tidings, the church I visited on Sunday. During announcements when they asked if anyone was new, I stood up. So of course the people around me shook my hand to "welcome" me. But after service, nobody stayed back to talk to me or get to know me. I walked out of the church service as alone as I went in.
I suppose I need not/ought not to wait for people to 'reach out' to me, but when I am on somebody else's turf I figure that I should not need to have to make that effort. I feel it's really their responsibility to help me feel welcome. I guess this sounds rather childish, but I often find I'm the one approaching people and I get tired of it and wish that others would approach me for a change. Because then the onus would be on THEM to create conversation. *insert wicked laugh*