One of the unchurched
I am now officially one of the unchurched. Yeah, sounds so much like "the undead". Heheh.
After months of doing the should I-shouldn't I-should I-shouldn't I dance, and lengthy talks with my pastor, I've decided it's time to move on from my church.
It was Bob who helped the decision crystallise: he more or less told me, "You have to find a church to settle down in and belong to."
"I already have a church," I said. "I'm in Soulcare."
"Yes, but are you going there?"
I grimaced at the question. At the time, I hadn't been to Soulcare for 3 consecutive weeks. First it was Chinese New Year and my parents & I attended service at my uncle & aunt's church; then I was in Fraser's Hill for a retreat with my Headstart Bible study group; then I'd been out of town for a friend's wedding.
But, even if all these events hadn't cropped up, I couldn't say with absolute certainty that I'd definitely have attended Soulcare's service anyway. Over the past few months I've come to dread going to church service and have been AWOL more times than I care to count, for the flimsiest reasons.
It's scary to me because I've always looked forward to Sunday morning service. And I don't know whether this is a sign that something is wrong with me, because honestly there's nothing in Soulcare to disagree with or not like. So I have no idea what happened.
My "inner man" also seems to be stagnant, not growing, not challenged, not learning anything new. I'm not criticising Soulcare; it's not their fault. They are who they are and I am who I am; that's just the way things are.
So I've decided to move on. I need to find a church family soon... pray for me, if you will.