My church journey
It's Friday, a day when most cell groups meet up.
Soulcare tried the cell group thing for a while. We had 'em on Tuesdays, though. So I don't know why I suddenly feel like I've nowhere to go.
Suddenly, I'm having this weird "I'm all alone" feeling. It's like I don't belong anywhere and don't have anyone to turn to. Oh, I'm just being stupid :)
I wonder how my church journey would have differed if I'd stayed on in my hometown. I mean, say if my family were in the city and I'd stayed at home even whilst attending university or college -- I'd probably have just kept on attending the same church all my life. You grew up in that church, the aunties and uncles have all known you since you were a toddler; you used to play together with their kids, and now those kids are still your friends and you still hang out together. I think something pretty drastic would have to happen to make you wanna leave.
In my case, moving away from home necessitated the search for a new church family. It's only when I left home that I started getting exposed to the charismatic style of worship/singing and learning about "walking in the Spirit" kinda stuff.
Also, the president of our college's Christian Fellowship moved powerfully in the spiritual gift of words of knowledge. When he prayed for us, his prayers were always amazingly accurate and would address the specific issue each individual had been secretly struggling with or worrying about. He'd usually also communicate something from God -- an encouraging word, a comforting message, an affirming thought. And it would always, always be exactly what I most needed to hear at the particular time.
It made me realise that, hey, if this guy could hear from God, then there's no reason why I couldn't either. Up until then I'd known that yeah, you should be able to hear from God through the Bible, when you read His Word. But this opened up a whole new vista to me -- that I might be able to personally hear God's 'voice', and have Him communicate with me in this intimate way: it blew my mind!
Well, after eight years in charismatic circles, I've seen some of the excesses and some of the not-so-good things about the "modern" and "hip" churches. Of course there are good things too; I love the way people are encouraged to worship God with their whole beings, not just expressing themselves through song, but also through body language and motion. I love the freedom that has taught me about developing a deeper, closer relationship with God.
But after one too many worship leaders telling me to dance and chiding the congregation for being too, um, unenthusiastic ("Come on! Is this the way to worship God? You can do better than that! Loosen up!")*, I think I'm ready to go back to something a little more balanced, a little quieter. Possibly one of the more traditional mainline denominations. (GASP!)
*This has never happened in Soulcare.