Murphy's law?
I've been in a blue funk lately. Tonight I felt especially sad for no particular reason. I was driving out for dinner and just felt like crying. It's not like I was listening to depressing music in the car... it was Christian worship music! (Although I know some of you will say that's enough to make anyone cry.)
I told God I didn't want to be disturbed and didn't want to meet anybody I know, and what happens? I'm accosted by two women who "want to invite you to church". I've run into people from this "church" before; I've heard they're a cult. Certainly when I tell them I already have a church, they still continue to push me to attend theirs, which I consider very fishy. Tonight I just said, "Oh, I've already been invited," smiled, and walked on. It's scary how easy it is to smile even when I don't feel like smiling.
Since I've decided to start on some serious Bible study, I decided to pop into a Christian bookstore and see if I could get a Bible commentary (which helps one to understand the Bible better by explaining each verse, giving background and context) as well as a Bible concordance (which lists down words from the Bible, and, under each word, lists all the verses in which the word appears. This is especially handy for people like me who always say, "Wait a minute, I know there's a verse somewhere in the Bible which goes something like this, but I'm not sure where it is, and exactly how it goes..."!).
Guess who I meet in the bookstore? My aunt & cousins. Yes, my uncle's family! The same uncle to whom I now owe $1,050. I was like, "Lord, this is really not my night, huh?" It's not that I'm avoiding them, it's just that I'm still feeling a bit bruised from all that occurred on Saturday and I need a bit of a breather from family for the moment.
My aunt asked me if I was ok; she thought I looked "a bit off-colour". My face always seems to give me away. People tell me I go pale when I feel ill, and when I'm tired people usually notice — even when I think I'm doing a good job of covering it up. I told my aunt I was tired, which was slightly true.
I was already on my way out of the bookstore to the one next door, wanting to compare the offerings and the prices. After that brief conversation with my aunt, I went over to Bookstore 2. From Bookstore 2 I decided to go back to Bookstore 1 and get the Strong's Concordance as well as the Matthew Henry Commentary (I wish I had a PDA or Pocket PC, then I could simply download this — and it'd be easier to use, too. But, oh well...).
As I was about to push open the door to Bookstore 1, I saw my uncle & aunt through the door's glass panel. And was assailed by the sound of my uncle's voice in my head: "Spending some more money?!". I hesitated, then removed my hand and walked away from the store. "I'll get the books tomorrow," I told myself.