Lizzie McGuire: No go
DO NOT, on any account, watch Lizzie McGuire. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, do not... go anywhere near that movie! Y o u h a v e b e e n w a r n e d.
I went for the press screening this morning - just for fun, not to review the show. My supervisor gave me clearance, coz I don't owe her any pressing stories at the moment. (I love my boss and my supervisor. They are both awesome!)
Here's the low-down: that movie irritated me so much that I walked out half-way through, blessedly thankful that I wasn't the one chosen to review it - coz that'd have meant I'd have had to sit through the whole thing.
It is a movie that will make you want to strangle someone, it is so utterly lame and insipid, predictable and mid-numbingly stupid and about as un-funny as it is possible for a so-called "comedy" to get.
*WARNING: spoilers ahead*
Movies aren't expected to be realistic or believable or logical, but this is just too, too much. Lizzie is on holiday in Italy and gets mistaken for a famous Italian singer, who looks just like her, except Isabella has black hair and she, Lizzie McGuire, has blonde hair. And oh, yes, the singer can speak Italian, and she can't. And yet she poses as this singer and manages to fool who? Just about everybody!!!
And Isabella's equally famous male singing partner ("I still love her... but as a sister" - hah!) has this idea. But it's too preposterous, it'll never work. "No, tell me, tell me!" she goes. No, it's ridiculous, I won't ask it of you. "Tell me, don't be silly," she says. And of course in the end he capitulates. He wants Lizzie to take Isabella's place at this music awards ceremony. For Isabella's sake. Because she has refused to appear and she might be sued by her record company. And Lizzie goes, "Oh, you are so sweet! You really care about her!" or something to that effect. After hesitating, she agrees to do it, because poor Paulo needs her help. Somebody please save me, I'm gagging here.
That's about the time I walked out. Fluffy-headed females get on my nerves faster than most other things *rueful smile*
So there you are. The movie is completely hackneyed, full of I-saw-it-coming-from-a-zillion-miles-away lines, peopled with every single stereotypical character you could ever think of, and does not even have any quirkiness or charm to endear it to its audience.
As I said: Y o u h a v e b e e n w a r n e d.