Single and separate? (The Wilful Sunflower)

Rick links to an article that claims the church has been "indifferent" towards singles.

"Much of the time, singles live on the fringes of church life because they feel the church doesn't understand or care about their particular needs," the founder of Single Sensations, a ministry dedicated to encouraging singles to be all they can be in Christ, writes in the May/June issue of "Ministries Today" magazine, out next week.While I will admit that I've yet to see any church ministry specifically target singles, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. (Maybe I'd feel different if I were an older single or if I had no inclination to marry - the question of unmet needs might then become very real. I'm not sure.)

But in general, I feel that turning the spotlight on singles is counter-productive because it will only emphasise their "separateness" from the rest of the adult community. If they already feel so left out, the last thing you want to do is make them feel even more "different".

Moreover, the suggestion of gathering singles together for fellowship and fun can backfire partly because some will simply use this as a platform to "hunt" for a partner - ie. will attend with wrong motives. One of my friends has complained that many men in her church's Young Adults Fellowship were only there to check out the women! Needless to say, she doesn't go there anymore.

Besides, are we trying to say that singles cannot fellowship and have fun with married couples and their children? Surely not!

Singles need to be integrated into the church community and family life. If they feel invisible on Sunday mornings, sitting in a pew surrounded by couples & families, feeling left out, it is probably more a lack of community and relationships than that they are overlooked.

See, many singles are so alone because they don't have that kind of support that comes from having loved ones nearby. Take me, for example - I live a four-hour drive away from my parents.

Couples in the church can give singles this sense of family and help to ease that isolated feeling. We, especially those of us who hope to be married one day, have much to learn from the married couples in the church. Even interacting with those couples' children can be an eye-opening learning experience!

I don't know, I just react strongly to the idea of "handling" singles separately.