I'm crazy
I am crazy. I know they say that really insane people never think of themselves as nuts, but I'm sure 'they' (whoever they are) can make an exception for me.
You see, after all the agonising and dithering, I am officially off romance books. Or trying to be off.
When I went home early last month, I brought back all those I had stored at home. Then I packed them all - ALL - in two boxes, and last week donated one box to the company's jumble sale. The other box is sitting in my house.
Did you see that? - It's sitting in my house.
For some reason the week after I did all this, I was tremendously busy and didn't even have time to think about romance books, let alone read them. And the week after that was okay too.
But the third week, which just happens to be last week, I lapsed. Instead of just picking the blasted box up, putting it in my car, and driving it to the office, I opened BOTH boxes, went through the books, and chose those I really wouldn't miss if I never saw them again. In the process, I discovered five books I'd rented from a store that has a "no time limit" return policy. And so I took them out of the box to return them and get my deposit back.
And then... yup, you guessed it. I read three of them.
That renewed the tug enough that I can now feel my box of books calling out to me - no kidding. And I've started getting cravings. Withdrawal symptoms? Maybe.
Oh, I know, a grown woman shouldn't be getting cravings to read romance books. They're so juvenile. They're predictable. The plots are all the same. The sexual scenes are sleazy and disgusting (not if you feed on them, though - like I used to). They're trash.
You aren't telling me anything I haven't told myself.
In a desperate move, I've been feverishly buying books in order to keep my hands off romance books. It's almost as if I must surround myself with anything other than romance. Not having any romance books around is not good enough, I must have something else. And not just to read, either. I mean, yes, I have a need to read, and so I need to have other stuff around to read in place of those books. But that's not it.
I can feel a mantra beating in my veins: Need - other - books - cannot - look - at - romance - Need - other - books - cannot - look - at - romance - Need - other - books - cannot - look - at - romance. I go to bookstores and just spend like crazy. Cannot look at romance! A book goes onto the pile. Cannot look at romance! Another book joins the pile.
Spent $80 in a secondhand bookshop today, buying Perry Mason mysteries (Erle Stanley Gardner's books are really hard to find here) and other stuff. Cannot - look - at - romance...
There you have it - I'm crazy.