The week that was
I'd rate my week a 9 out of 10 on the "week greatness" scale; 1 being you absolutely don't even want to hear what happened in my week, and 10 being splendiferous.
Nothing to do with work, although I had just the right mixture of busyness at work - not so busy that I couldn't breathe, and not so free that I could sit around and "shake legs", as we say here.
No, it's got to do with my emotional well-being. :)
I've been feeling very happy all week, very at peace with myself, which is simply wonderful. You see, I haven't felt this way in a long, loooooooong time.
Back when I was in high school, I had a very strong sense of self. If you'd asked me to give you a list of my strengths and weaknesses, I could have done it - with the belief that I'd looked at myself objectively. I didn't care what others said about me - in fact, I was proud of the fact that I didn't follow the crowd, didn't succumb to peer pressure. Back then, I said, "Sorry, but people just have to accept me the way I am. If they can't, that's too bad. I know what I'm doing and I'm not going to try to please everybody."
But two years ago, when I nearly turned my back on God, I completely lost that.
During that period of time I let a lot of things slide; I stopped making an effort, quit living by the long-cherished principles I'd always held - principles like integrity (being a woman of my word) and compassion. Small wonder that I not only couldn't recognise myself anymore, I also didn't like the person I could see!
Since then, together with the battle to regain lost ground, I've battled simply to like myself - never mind love!
The thing is, I've been trying hard to change (back), but the changes are long in coming, and each time I've looked at myself, I've really had a hard time finding anything to like.
But this week... for the first time in a long time, I have felt happy about being me once again. Although I'm still in the process of re-discovering who I am, I'm happy because I can finally see myself becoming the woman that God made me to be. I see her emerging from underneath all the layers... God is at work! He works in tandem with me, and I'm so excited!
I see little improvements here and there and I am filled with hope. Just a little thing like applying perfume every day gives me a tremendous boost because it shows me that I am making an effort, and makes me feel so womanly.
Oh, I'm so happy!