Has abstinence really become a rarity?
Very interesting to read Jen's "Anniversary Musings on Love" at blogs4God this morning.
I watched Just Married yesterday. In case you don't know, it's about this couple who jumped into bed with each other almost at the first meeting, moved in together a month later and decided to get married nine months after that. Then they have the honeymoon from hell - which is largely their own fault. Bullheadedness, rudeness, pride, selfishness, inconsideration - on BOTH sides - and jealousy and distrust on the guy's side - see them returning from the honeymoon an estranged couple.
Can you believe a couple can stay together nine months without finding out each others' interests? She doesn't know that he's mad about sports and can't live without the latest game statistics every morning. He doesn't know that she enjoys history and architecture. D'oh...
One of the issues raised between the couple was that of former bed partners. Hmmm. See, the girl's from a rich family and the guy's not. And she had a former boyfriend (whom her parents wouldn't have minded her marrying, if you get my drift) who's rich and successful and could keep her in the style to which she was accustomed. So of course Mr Macho is all jealous and insecure of her relationship with this guy, and she doesn't dare to tell him that she's slept with Mr Former Boyfriend before.
Then there's the scene in their bedroom on their wedding night (no, not THAT kind of scene!) where she says, "Oh my God, tomorrow morning my parents are going to know that I'm not a virgin anymore!" Her brand-new husband reminds her, "But honey, you haven't been a virgin since college." She replies, "Yes, but now they'll know for sure!" *rolls eyes*
I wonder if abstinence and chastity is indeed as rare as Hollywood and the media would have us believe. Pick up any women's magazine and you'll find articles talking about one-night stands, how to get your man, how to please him in bed, whether younger men are better, etc., etc.
In contrast: on Friday, one of the private colleges here signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) with Focus on the Family to conduct the "No Apologies - The Truth About Life, Love And Sex" programme in the school. This is a first.
Right now, the college will run it as a separate 2-day programme for their students, but plans are in the pipeline to work it into one of the subjects' syllabus. It promotes sexual abstinence until marriage, and at the end, encourages participants to sign an "abstinence pledge" with an accountability partner.
I attended the signing ceremony, and was told that one of the issues the programme addresses is that of peer pressure - it teaches participants how to avoid potentially tempting/compromising situations, and helps them to prepare responses when confronted with such situations. Sounds really encouraging!
But a colleague from the Education section of the paper was present at the signing ceremony too, and was upset by the idea! She said the whole concept of teaching abstinence to college students is so "old-fashioned", that they're not young kids who need to be told what to do and what is best. "The college is imposing a single point of view on their students," she muttered to me, outraged.
I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.
Should I have said something?