God speaks
On (almost) the same subject as the post below:
I like the idea of having things on record. Maybe that's why I'm a writer. And two nights ago, I discovered a little notebook, one of those zillions that I'd bought for a specific purpose but that remain empty after 10 or so entries. (As briefly mentioned here.)
This one remained empty after only seven entries. Reading them, I realised what this notebook was supposed to be all about.
Back in 1998, I was thrilling to the discovery that God is a communicating God and that He wants to communicate with me personally. Call me dense, but right until then, I had always been frustrated that my so-called relationship with God seemed very one-way. It always seemed to be me doing the talking. What kind of relationship was that?!
I'd come from a staid, sober, no-frills, no dramatics Methodist background. The College Christian Fellowship in my college was led by a young man who truly did "walk in the Spirit". He preached to us and prayed for us, and he had the gift of words of knowledge. You could be a total stranger, and he'd pray for you with devastating accuracy, releasing words of comfort and encouragement from God that would go straight to the heart of the matter. It was awesome. I was so blessed by his ministry.
Watching him, I knew he walked closely with God, hearing God's voice... and I wanted that same intimacy with my Heavenly Father. I wanted God to be real and present in my life.
I complained to Mom that I never hear God, and she gave me Joyce Huggett's Listening to God. Huggett wrote that God speaks to us all the time. I was convinced that God wanted to speak to me; I just had to be more open and attentive. When I began keeping this particular notebook, I resolved that each day I would invite God to speak to me in a very personal, special way, and then I'd look out for His voice. And I'd record it.
As I said earlier, the exercise didn't last beyond a week. I just can't seem to stick to anything. (Mutters: Discipline, discipline *grin*) But when I read through those old entries, I was glad that I at least had those. Here are four of them:
120498
As I was waiting for two friends to arrive so that we could go to church, I talked to S. He told me how the Lord had drawn him to Himself and of several miracles he & his brother have experienced, also how God helps him to study and explains the legal principles to him! It was very encouraging as if the Lord wanted to reassure me, "Yes, I still speak today, to ordinary people, and yes, I do still perform miracles. It is possible to experience Me in very real ways!" Kind of like a promise that I'll see Him move in my life as well.
130498
Today as I was waiting for the bus I was fanning myself, and then God sent a breeze. The Holy Spirit planted in my imagination the picture of God gently blowing at me. I could see two round cheeks puffed up as He gently blew the soft breeze. The phrase "breathe on me, breath of God" came to me. It was like He was caressing me with His breeze.
160498
I received a letter from [a dear friend] and a small bookmark with a verse from Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful, declared the bookmark, surrounded by a pretty border of seashells. Behind, my friend had written, "...that is including you, too, my dearest PING!!!" I noticed that the verse was not in its oft-quoted future tense, "He will make..." but PAST tense, "Has made"! Yesterday, during my time with God, I had been feeling forlorn after a time of repentance; I recorded the last line of my prayer: "Make me into something beautiful in Your time." I think the Lord is reassuring me, "I HAVE made you something beautiful!"
190498
Phoned home because Mom had said to let her know I was OK. Dad told me Mom was off at church camp! He said he prays for me every day and he asks God to protect me. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. I felt so warm all over, so touched by this evidence that Dad DOES love me, in his own way.
I should start doing this again.