The Wilful Sunflower

I did the Googlism thing out of curiosity and more than half of the results were probably from Me, Myself and Sunflower movie reviews. But I burst out laughing when I read, “Sunflower is also available”!

Yes, indeed, Sunflower is also available. Where I come from, that means I’m still single, currently not in a special relationship with anyone of the opposite sex.

Wait a minute, what do I mean, “currently”? Never been in a special relationship is more like it!

Has anybody fainted yet? *scans the floor space* *grin*

You see, when I was 16 I read a true story that really, really impressed me. It impressed me so much that I prayed and asked God to guard my heart until He brings the right man to me and it is the right time for us to be together.

OK, so I’m idealistic. Have you ever noticed that God is idealistic? What did Jesus say the greatest commandment was? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30). Can any of us say that we truly love God that way, with all of ourselves? Will we ever be able to? Even Paul, the apostle who is “up there” on the list of the most saintly people I can think of, wrote, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). But Jesus said, “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves Me” (John 14:21) – our love is expressed through obedience to the Master. Even Paul struggled with disobedience, as do we all; clearly, it is almost impossible for us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Yet God desires us to love Him that way. He’s idealistic!

Therefore, I’m not ashamed of being idealistic. I believe that God has a plan for my life, and I trust Him to bring that plan into fruition.

Talking about that… I was on ICQ tonight with a friend and he said, “I think, if you desire to get married, you should plan some strategies to find and get to know guys. It’s not helpful to just sit there and wait for guys to come to you.”

Well, I’ve been there, done that, bought the T-shirt (as Alpha would say), and I refuse to do it anymore. Firstly, looking around implies a sense of desperation, which is the opposite of trusting God. If I have to FIND my man, where does God come into the equation?

Secondly, it’s unhealthy (for me, at least) to go around looking at every Christian brother as a potential mate, ticking items off a mental list. “Christian? – yes. Loves God? – yes. Single? – yes.” You get the idea! It’s so calculative. When I enter into a friendship with a guy, I don’t want to do so with the hope that he could be The One. I want to come with a pure mind and a pure heart; no hidden motives, no undercurrents. I want to get to know him for his own sake, and not because he could mean something more to me later.

And finally, I believe that the man should take the initiative. I don’t care if I do get labelled “old-fashioned”. Elisabeth Elliot expresses it beautifully in Quest For Love:

  Adam was given the privilege of naming the woman God gave him. This implied, as it did with his naming the animals, his acceptance of authority… Adam was also assigned the responsibility to care for, protect, provide for, cherish, and husband his wife.
  She was made to be his helper, comforter, lover.
  He was to initiate, she to respond.
  But the roles were quickly reversed. Eve took the initiative in disobeying God by eating the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, a fruit forbidden by the Lord… Eve took the word of the serpent as more trustworthy than God’s and Adam went along with it.
  She initiated. He responded. Sin, sorrow, and death were the result.

Need I say more? Waiting may indeed be a form of suffering, but I am committed to wait for the right person and the right time… committed to wait on God.