The Wilful Sunflower

In Quest For Love, Elisabeth Elliot writes:

Except for those far ahead of most of us in sanctity, waiting is a form of suffering – the difficulty of self-restraint, the anguish of unfulfilled longing, the bewilderment of unanswered prayer, my flesh and my heart failing, my soul breaking. These are indeed tribulations, and tribulation is the curriculum if we are to learn patience. We want answers now, right now, but we are required at times to walk in darkness. Nevertheless, God is in the darkness.

I never quite saw waiting as suffering before. Let’s face it, when we think of suffering, we think of victims. Victims of war, victims of child abuse, victims of drought and famine, victims of domestic violence. Great physical and/or emotional pain that is caused by something or someone.

But when I wait, who causes my suffering? And is the suffering so great? It is to me, but I doubt it is to anyone else! I can just imagine this conversation:

Me: I’m in agony. All this waiting is killing me!
XX: Don’t exaggerate. There’s no need for such melodrama!

*grin*

The fact is, waiting IS difficult. Elliot says we do not wait for God, but on Him, in the same way that a waiter waits on his customers – “alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted… A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace.”

She was writing in the context of waiting for love and marriage (which I am ALSO waiting for, LOL – more on that later), but I think it holds true whenever we are waiting for God to act or to unfold His plans in our lives.