A bit blue
I feel exhausted. Probably havent been getting enough sleep wait a minute, what am I saying?? Definitely havent been getting enough sleep Im a night owl, hardly ever sleep before 2am, which makes getting out of bed in the mornings a bit dicey. You wont find me hopping out of bed and singing at the top of my voice in the shower. In fact, if I even smile at you in the mornings, you have been honoured! hahaa.
Also, I could be feeling drained coz Im in the midst of making what to me will be a pretty major decision. Nothing to do with my career nor a special relationship, though. Anyway, Im waiting on God to say something and indicate what He wants me to do. The funny thing is I want Him to speak so that Ill know what step to take, but at the same time I would rather not hear coz He might ask me to do something difficult or something that I dont want to do.
Yes, I know Im a complicated person who likes to make things difficult! :)
Im in a bit of a blue funk coz the boss threw out my story. He wasnt happy with it (well, that goes without saying) and sent my immediate superior to tell me that hes disappointed. *sigh* I think I deserve it, coz I didnt exactly break my back over this one, although I did what I could. Regardless, I cant take it when people are upset or disappointed with me shades of my childhood. It just hurts something deep inside me.
I waited for the usual crushing feeling of being a failure to come over me, but it didnt. Surely thats an indication that God is healing my heart and freeing me from the ghosts of the past. Is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time? :)