Still bruised
Went to the bank this morning and changed money into Singapore dollars... I was thinking I'm only going to be there 2 days, I couldn't possibly spend that much, could I?! But being me, better-safe-than-sorry me, "just in case" ol' me, I thought I'd better have more rather than less, so I got S$100. Then I paid my credit card bill so that there won't be any problems if I need to swipe the thing. Not that I owed a lot on it anyway - something like RM220.
Did Quiet Time last night after going home - it was the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. I was just trying to picture the scene, hoping to get some comfort. Well, it didn't help. Or maybe I was too tired.
Then the electicity supply went off at 4am and woke me up. It was so hot and humid, the air seemed to stand still and heavy. Ugh. Inwardly railed at the govenrment, then I looked out the window, the back neighbour's porch light was on. Hmmm... was it possible the main power switch had tripped? But there hadn't been any lightning, no rain, nothing! What could have caused it to trip??
Still, I couldn't sleep, so I went wandering around the house in the middle of the night, looking for the main fuse box. My torch didn't have batteries in it - I hardly use it, so I don't keep batteries inside, in case they leak and spoil the thing. And guess what? Yep, the fuse had tripped! So the heroine, Miss Sunflower, turned it back on, and viola! - power's back!! *grin*
Still feel a bit numb and bruised around the region of the heart today. Logged onto ChristianBBS and saw all the responses, read the PMs... Was touched by the outpouring of love towards a total stranger. It feels strange to have people around for me in my hour of need. In the past, whenever I've been hurting, it's just been me and God. Always just me and God. So alone, I've always felt so alone... and that's a whole new pain in itself. Never having anyone to call, never trusting anyone to understand and truly care. Just struggling on... alone.
I think it takes more faith to hold on during these times than it does when I have to believe God for an answer to prayer. There's something terrible about wondering where He is when I'm hurting, even though intellectually I KNOW He's right there beside me. What does that say about me, I wonder?