Wilful Sunflower

Interesting. In August 2002, I was browsing blogs one day when I found a 100 Things About Me challenge through Tim’s Journal. When I attempted to see whether my humour could hold out till a hundred, I discovered that 50 was about my limit! LOL. But after a year or so, I (finally) managed to reach 100. *phew* *grin*

1. I'm Malaysian-born Chinese but I don't think that piece of information will help much, coz in my experience, 95% of the world's population have no idea where Malaysia is!
2. The funny thing is, I was born in England. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it; *grin*) my parents registered my birth at the Malaysian High Commission. But then, we're a Commonwealth country, so there's no getting away from British ties anyway.
3. Our national language happens to be Malay, which is also used as the medium of instruction in schools. However, my family speaks English at home, so I've always considered English my first language. I think in English, read English, dream in English, and talk to myself in English!
4. This, er, propensity towards the English language sometimes gets me labelled a "banana" — a Chinese who is yellow on the outside, yet white inside. You see, while I am Malaysian Chinese, I don't speak any Chinese dialect fluently. My parents are from different dialect groups (my dad is Hockchiew/Foochow and my mom is Cantonese).
5. As far as Chinese dialects are concerned, I speak a bit of Mandarin, a little Hokkien, less Cantonese, and hardly any Hockchiew. So when people ask me which dialect group I'm from, I usually sheepishly say, "Well, I'm supposed to be Hockchiew [children take after their father]... but I don't speak it!" Oops... my poor ancestors must be turning over in their graves!!!
6. Oh yeah, I might be Chinese, but I don't dig Chinese food. Given a choice, I'll almost never eat rice. In college I survived on McDonald's and instant noodles more than anything else. (Which one I ate depended on whether I happened to find myself at the beginning or the end of the month!)
7. You want to know my age, doncha? I've never understood why women are so coy about revealing their ages. Of course, give me a few years and I might be the same, but I seriously doubt it. I feel that there's never any point looking back and wanting to be younger, because that's simply not possible. It's never gonna happen. I'm happy to be the age I am now. I'm different now from when I was 18 and when I'm 35 I'll be different then from what I am now. It's only to be expected, and hopefully it'll be a good kind of different. :)
8. So, now that you know my personal philosophy concerning aging, I'll tell you my age. I turn a quarter-century old on Aug 25 this year (Ed. note: 2003) and haven't quite decided how I feel about it. Sure, I jokingly bemoan how old I'm getting, but secretly I'm pretty happy being 25. Not for anything would I want to be 14 again. I'm finally facing the fact that I'm an adult, and being an adult is anytime waaaaaaayy better than being a kid!
9. Since I was born in England, I have a UK birth certificate which doesn't state the time of birth. And my mom, being the ultra-practical, unsentimental woman that she is, cannot remember whether I was born in the morning, afternoon, evening or night. Neither can my dad.
10. I think that's very strange coz I was their first child — aren't first-time parents supposed to be excited over the baby, remembering all these sort of details about the birth?!
11. I asked my mom how long she was in labour with me, and she said, "Very long. I can't remember how long." *rolls eyes*
12. I used to live with a doctor. Wait, what were you thinking? He's my dad! Now, of course, I'm proudly independent...
13. ...and have been since I was 18. But you're never truly independent until you begin earning your own way — which I've been doing since Oct 17, 2001. Yep, it was a significant enough date for me to remember! heheh.
14. The thing about living with a doctor is that the concept of paying to see a doctor is completely alien to me. Over here there are government-funded hospitals, which charge much less than the private hospitals and clinics do, but I don't really trust them. Don't people say you get what you pay for?
15. When I was a kid, people were always asking me, "So, when you grow up do you want to be a doctor like your father?". They couldn't have said anything more calculated to make me go against the very idea. I wanted to be my own person, not live in my dad's shadow.
16. I remember telling my parents I wanted to be an artist, though, and they said, "Get real! You'll never be able to earn a living!" — ok, I'm exaggerating, but they did think it was a stupid idea, I assure you :)
17. After that I went through several other ambitions, including wanting to be a seamstress and psychologist, before I settled on journalism when I was 16.
18. My baby brother's the one who became the psychologist. At least, he's now taking a degree in psychology. What he's going to do with his degree is anyone's guess. Me, I got to become a journalist after all. :)
19. You know how people say, "Be careful what you ask for; you just might get it"? About six months after I started the job, I finally figured out that I'm not passionate about journalism, I'm passionate about writing — and they're two totally different things altogether. Oh well, you live and learn. Besides, journalism is fun. The PR people treat you like royalty. *wicked laugh*
20. Did you catch that mention of my baby brother in #19? Yeah, I'm the eldest of two children.
21. Whatever people say about the eldest being a bully is utter horseradish. I'll tell you, it's always the younger who bullies the elder. All he ever had to do was cry or yell, "Mommmyyyyyyyy!" and my mom would be on my case. "Why did you make him cry?!" Oh, puh-leeeez... The worst was when she'd say, "He's your only brother! You must love him!" to which I'd reply, "I DO love him. He doesn't love me!" :D
22. Even if I said he'd started the argument by taunting me, my mom would say, "But you didn't have to respond to him, right? You're older and should know better!" I just couldn't win :(
23. So it's not surprising that, when we were children, I used to think my baby brother was a pest. Now that we're both grown up, I'm gratified to note that he's morphed into a normal human being ;)
24. You see, I can't even make a simple list. I have to elaborate and explain (wait, don't those two mean almost the same thing? Whatever...) and make a production out of each and every point. At this rate, I'll probably take a week to reach a hundred! Long-winded, that's me. Or, as the Cantonese say, "cheong hei"!!
25. I can't even write a short email to save my life. I'll say it's going to be short, and the next thing I know, I've typed 12 paragraphs. Really! Then I get like one paragraph in return and feel ridiculously cheated. *sigh*
26. But it's precisely because I love to write that I thought journalism would be the perfect job for me. You know that saying by Confucious, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life"? I subscribe to that. The only thing is, you think you'll love the job, and the reality turns out totally different in the end. 'Nuff said.
27. I always thought I didn't like the taste of coffee until my friend Kevin introduced me to The Coffee Bean sometime in 2001. I hate bitter coffee but if there's enough milk and sugar in it, it's drinkable. (*cue for all the REAL coffee drinkers to rail up in horror*) Then again it's no surprise that I discovered The Coffee Bean so late. At $10 per cup, one drink's equivalent to the price of a meal!
28. My specialty dish is Sunflower's Instant Noodles. *grin* Mom's always telling me, "You must learn how to cook! You're a girl!" I tell her that when I need to learn, I will. After all, there are always recipe books, and I can follow instructions well enough.
29. Besides, I rent a room in the city, with no cooking facilities. Heck, the place isn't even furnished! I'm still using a plastic cupboard that zips up and has started to list to one side like the leaning tower of Pisa.
30. Can #29 count as two, since I had that bit about my plastic cupboard? Please? Pretty please?? :)
31. So yeah, Mom somewhat sexist (saying I must learn how to cook coz I'm a girl!). She forced me to finish my ABRSM (Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music) Grade 8 in piano, yet when dear ol' baby bro wanted to quit at Grade 7, she allowed him to. None of that "Only one more grade to go, may as well finish it" business. Why? "He's a boy! You're a girl — at least you'll be able to give piano lessons from home when you're married with children," Mom said. Good grief! Now, THAT'S long-term planning, LOL.
32. Then again, sometimes I think Mom isn't so much sexist as she's practical. She'd never let bro sweep the floor, coz she feared it wouldn't be clean. Guess who got stuck with the job? Yep, yours truly! At least she got him to wash dishes, even if she did keep on yelling from the sitting room, "BE GENTLE WITH THOSE!!" each time she heard an especially loud clunk!
33. I'll tell you a secret: Cooking is not a problem. It's the washing up that gets me. I have a skin condition called eczema, so I need to wear gloves to protect my skin from the dishwashing liquid. It's just such a bother.
34. I don't like onions and garlic, which is strange because all Chinese cooking has generous amounts of both, to give the food flavour and make it hiong (Cantonese for "fragrant"). I once tried to fry vegetables without adding onions and garlic, and my family complained the dish tasted flat!
35. I've never been much of an outdoors person. I don't like any kind of sports, although again you can blame my eczema for that. When I start perspiring, the heat and all make my skin itch like crazy. Swimming is the best form of exercise for me. If only I didn't have to wash my hair after each session...
36. See? I can be a very girly girl sometimes :)
37. In fact, I've always enjoyed being a girl. I never went through a tomboy phase; always loved frilly dainty dresses and ribbons & lace, much to the despair of my mom. "They're not practical," she'd say.
38. Back to sports, though — I've always been horrible at any sport involving a ball of any sort. Don't ever throw anything at me, because I can't catch to save my life! I just have horrible hand-eye coordination when it comes to this sort of thing.
39. My brother and I used to play badminton when we were younger. Except that I'm not sure "play" is quite the right word. He'd serve, I'd go pick up the shuttlecock. I'd serve, and he'd go pick up the shuttlecock...
40. I've not played classical music ever since completing my Grade 8 in piano. But I was playing during church services and youth group meetings and such.
41. Then I left home to go to college. For the first year or two, I missed my piano soooooo much. I even contemplated taking up guitar as a substitute, but that didn't happen.
42. The emode.com looniness test really disappointed me. Here I am proclaiming myself as mizwacky, and they have to tell me I'm "not so much loony as carefully spontaneous". What a letdown. *sigh* :(
43. However, I'm much encouraged by the fact that one of my closest friends, Janelle, thinks the full quota for wackiness in my family all came to me. :D
44. To give an example of how far gone I am, whenever I'm waiting to get on an elevator and I see it arriving at my floor, I have the most irresistible urge to say, "Open sesame!". Sometimes I DO say it. Not always when I'm alone, either.
45. When waiting at a street corner to cross the road, I've also been known to bow to the cars whizzing past and gesture to them to pass ahead of me, the same way I fondly imagine a doorman would show guests into a hotel. :O
46. Pepsi is always preferred over Coke, but if the place doesn’t have Pepsi, I'll take Coke as a last resort. Dad says Pepsi is sweeter. That's not surprising to me — I always did have a sweet tooth...
47. When I was in school, I used to doodle in the margins of my notebooks all the time. I'd draw women with Coca-cola-bottle-shaped bodies, and design their dresses painstakingly. Mom said it was a waste of time, ink and paper. She could never understand that I drew to keep myself awake during soporific classes. Just coz I was drawing didn't mean I wasn't paying attention, you know!
48. Later, at law school, classmates used to ask me why I hadn't taken up fashion design. Firstly, I never considered it; I wasn't serious about my drawings. To me, sketching females was just something I did to pass the time. Secondly, my parents would've gone ballistic! Even Mass Communication was deemed "not professional enough". How much more so fashion design!
49. Yep, I went to law school. People's jaws always drop when they hear that I'm a law graduate, working as a journalist. But why not? What with Dad's dislike to Mass Comm, and the foreign exchange rate shooting up in late 1996/early 1997 (popularly attributed to George Soros' meddling), I prayed and followed where I believed God was leading me. As a Christian, I believe He has a plan for each of our lives. The sad thing is that we often don't consult Him, so we make our own plans and mess things up. Real smart of us, huh?
50. When I was in university, I used to study in McDonald's. I'd go to a McDonald's outlet, order something to eat, and stay there the whole day. I loved the air-conditioning (because the climate in my country is hot and humid all the time), and the noise or having people walk by never distracted me.
51. I have a secret desire to take art classes and learn how to paint "properly".
52. I know which astrological sign I was born under (hmm, that phrase sounds awkward... oh, never mind) but I'm not gonna tell you, coz I don't believe in astrological stuff. Ditto feng shui. I wonder when we will ever wake up and realise that we can’t control our own destinies; we don't even know whether we'll still be alive tomorrow! But I know Who holds the future, and because I know He also loves me, I know I can trust Him to take care of me.
53. Most people who know me think I'm idealistic. Of course I am. But I'm also enough of a realist to know that life is never ideal. So I'm a hopefully idealistic realist, hahahaa!
54. I'm also a hopeless romantic, old-fashioned enough to want to be wooed and courted by a courteous, chivalrous gentleman. You just wait — I'm sure one still exists out there!
55. My parents, though, are the most unsentimental people you'd have the misfortune to meet. They're practical, logical, outwardly unemotional and staid. Is it any wonder that the idea of turning into my parents scares me silly?!
56. I'm so different from my parents that I once asked my mom if she was sure she'd taken the correct baby home from the hospital. She said she couldn't possibly have been mistaken coz I was the only baby there with small eyes and a snub nose! (Surrounded by babies with anglo-saxon features, don't you know. Remember, I was born in England...)
57. I refuse to watch any movie that doesn't have a happy ending. The way I see it, the world's already full of pain and sorrow. Why should fantasy and fiction mirror real life? Let's have some optimism and "feel-good" stuff. I'll go back to hard reality soon enough!
58. Moulin Rouge is the only movie with a sad ending that I've watched, in recent memory. I went in without reading the synopsis and I'll be everlastingly grateful, because the music and choreography were superb. I'd have missed out on so much if I hadn't seen it. The plot was just irritating, though. Right at the very beginning, the fella tells us, "The woman I love is dead." Then we spend the whole movie just waiting for her to die. Every time she coughs, we wonder, "Is it now? Is she going to die now?" Sheesh!
59. The other movie I watched without first reading its synopsis was We Were Soldiers. For some reason, even though the title contained the word "soldiers", I didn't expect it to be a war movie. (duh) So I went in with my friends, and within the first fifteen minutes, I decided that the only way I was going to get through the movie was to close my eyes. So I'm a wimp — I admit it! I just can't take violence.
60. Whilst we're on the topic of movies, let me just say that I absolutely refuse to see horror flicks. My imagination is already wild enough. It doesn't need extra help, thank you very much!
61. Oh, and I was secretly disappointed with Shrek because I wanted Princess Fiona to remain slim, fair-skinned and beautiful... What does that say about me, I wonder?
62. I totally, totally, totally hated the Lizzie McGuire movie and walked out half-way during the show. It irritated me no end. I found it utterly lame and insipid, predictable and mid-numbingly stupid and about as un-funny as it is possible for a so-called "comedy" to get.
63. The thing is, I can walk out of a cinema in the middle of a horrid movie or walk out of a room in the middle of a vapid TV programme... but I CANNOT put down even the most irritating, poorly written (fiction) book. I always read right till the end, even if I have to stay up till 5am to do it and can barely concentrate or keep my eyes open.
64. I'm a night owl. Mom's always complaining that I "turn night into day and day into night". Fortunately, my office doesn't require staff to clock in at 8am. I'd probably be fired within the month! 7am is an unearthly hour to me. 8am is early and 9am is reasonable, but 10am is just nice. :D
65. School was, for me, as far from an "insitution of learning" as it's possible to be. I hated school, all the way from Primary 1 to Form 5 (7 to 17 years old). We didn't learn anything, weren't encouraged to understand, just memorise and repeat all the right answers to earn our A's. I hated it. Oh, did I say that already?
66. In those days, I was the stereotypical introverted bookworm. I'd walk around with my nose in a book — it was a mystery to my friends how I never ended up in a drain or flat against a pillar!
67. As a result of being so anti-social, I always felt a little out of things and didn't make many close friends. In fact, when we graduated from high school and went our separate ways to various colleges/universities, I lost contact with almost all my classmates. To this day I only keep in sporadic contact with two friends from primary school and one from secondary school. Goodness knows where all the others are and what they're doing now.
68. I've always thought it rather ironic that, despite Mom wanting us to learn how to read, once we caught on and began exploring the world of books on our own she was always trying to make us stop reading. She'd confiscate our books and make us do our school homework first before returning them to us! Because otherwise we'd be in a world of our own and wouldn't even stop to eat!
69. We must have been the only kids ever to have been ordered to play: "When we get to Aunty ______'s house, you go play with the other children, all right? No taking a book and sitting in a corner to read!" Mom would say. But other mothers would tell her, "Oh, let them read. Why do you stop them from reading? You know, my boy, he won't even pick up a book!" LOL
70. I don't watch much TV coz when I was growing up, our TV-viewing was restricted. We weren't allowed to simply plonk down in front of the TV and "see what's on now". Instead, we'd have to check the TV guide, then let my mom read the synopsis. If she said, "Stupid show! No need to watch!", you knew your hopes were doomed.
71. I always say I became a bookworm out of desperation, because I needed some form of entertainment!
72. So when I left home to go to college, I didn't miss having a TV. For many years, I lived without one. Now one of my housemates has a TV, which she puts in the common area for us to share. But I still hardly watch much TV.
73. Pretty much the only time I listen to popular secular music is when I'm in shopping malls or restaurants, when I can hardly avoid hearing the music blared over the PA system. Occasionally, when I'm driving, I'll turn on the radio, depending on my mood; but at home, I don't tune into radio stations, preferring to play CDs or cassettes — which usually have Christian-themed songs.
74. For me, it's the lyrics of a song which give it meaning. Many songs sound great musically, but if the words don't make sense or talk about stuff which are against my personal principles (eg. pre-marital sex), the song is spoilt in my eyes — I mean, ears.
75. Yeah, I'm personally against pre-marital sex and believe in abstinence until marriage. I suppose some people would label me old-fashioned, but it's hard, if not impossible, for me to contemplate sharing myself so deeply with someone else without the security of commitment. I don't see it as a trap or as blackmail — "If you want me, you gotta pay the price, baby" — but as a statement of intention: "I'm not gonna take what I want and then lose interest and eventually run out on you. I treasure this gift of yourself and I'm gonna stand by you no matter what comes."
76. I'd like to think that I have great fashion sense, but of course, I have no idea whether or not this is true. I don't believe in following trends, preferring to stick to styles that suit me and make me look good. Let's face it, clothes are all about camouflage...
77. But dithering about what to wear isn't my style. I usually wake up in the morning feeling like wearing something dressy or feeling like it's too much bother to dress up that day — and go on from there. Sometimes I feel like wearing something bold, and will go to work wearing a fire-engine red blouse. It all depends.
78. You know how some women like to wear black all the time, while some only wear neutral colours such as beige and gray? I couldn't stand sticking to a few selected colours all the time. That was one of the things that completely horrified me about becoming a practicing lawyer. They have a dress code, you know — white long-sleeved blouses and black (or dark grey/dark blue) skirts or slacks. Boooooooring...
79. So my wardrobe contains clothes of all colours: orange, pastel pink, hot pink, pastel yellow, white, black, maroon, grey, sky blue, midnight blue, brown, fire-engine red, pale green, lavender, and several other colours in-between.
80. I also do still wear T-shirts with pictures of Snoopy and Winnie-the-Pooh. Mom snidely says, "Aren't you too old for that?" But hey, I think they're cute! And if the day ever comes when I think I'm too old to watch cartoons or wear T-shirts with cartoon characters on 'em, I might as well be dead coz that would mean I'm also too old to have fun. Food for thought, eh?
81. When it comes to shoes, I'm the kind of woman you always see portrayed in the comics and hear numerous jokes about — the one who has tons and tons of shoes. At last count I had 40 pairs of shoes (including one pair of Nike sports shoes, a pair of ankle-high leather boots, and two pairs of casual slippers)!! Imelda Marcos the second, that's me!
82. And I loooooooove high heels. Most of my shoes have heels 3 to 4 inches high. Mmmmm. They might be bad for my back or my knees, but they make me feel feminine, womanly and sexy. It's really amazing what a pair of shoes can do!
83. Spiders, cockroaches and lizards don't make me scream. Well, I don't particularly like the first two, but I'm more likely to try to whack 'em with something than to jump up on a chair and screech in terror.
84. Fishing isn't fun — I can't stand waiting for the fish to bite. The only part of fishing I really enjoy is putting the worms on the hooks. And, later, pulling the entrails out of the fish when Dad has scaled them. Must have buried sadistic tendencies, methinks.
85. Procrastination will be my downfall. I started this list in early 2003 and it's now March 2004. I'm already a quarter-century old and well on my way to passing that landmark age. Oh well.
86. You'll be happy to hear that I'm also no longer living out of a plastic zip cupboard, having gotten a proper wooden one the last time I moved house. I got one with sliding doors because friends said it would be more space-economical. But I've decided that I don't like sliding doors... you can only see half of your clothes at any one time. How on earth am I going to decide what to wear if I can't first determine my choices?!
87. Turning 25 felt significant to me, as if I was finally embracing adulthood after being in denial about it for so long. To me, adults were always those old, sober people with no sense of humour whatsoever. No way could I be an adult, no sir! But I think I've gotten used to the idea now. And who says I have to be like them, or act my age? :P
88. I enjoy watching children. They're hilarious and do say the darnedest things! When I find a small child looking at me, I always flash him or her a big grin, as if inviting the little one to share in a joke.
89. At the same time, every time I see young children, I want to hug them tightly and make sure they know they are loved. Kids have a special place in my heart because they're so vulnerable and so helpless, in a way. They need to be loved and protected and cherished. So many do not know what it is to have someone who really cares...
90. Have you ever noticed that when adults speak to children, the adults' tone of voice tends to change, becoming higher-pitched and slightly sing-song? And that they often phrase their questions in a way that might suggest the child is mentally deficient? I try not to "talk down" to children because I'm convinced that we constantly underestimate their comprehension and intelligence. When I was younger I used to feel frustrated because no one would take me seriously. Now I try to treat each child like a person in his or her right and spend time listening, really listening, to whatever they want to tell me.
91. Janelle, one of my closest friends, says I have the strongest nesting instinct of anyone she knows. As far back as I can remember, the only thing I ever wanted was to fall in love, marry, and have a family :)
92. When I was about 14, I nearly got into an argument with one of my friends about being a stay-at-home mom. I had — still have — strong convictions about being around to watch my own children grow up, answer their funny little questions, instil godly values in them and teach them about the One who loves them more than any other. I think that's the most fulfilling, worthwhile job I could ever have.
93. Obviously, my mom has been a big influence, although when I come to think of it, all my aunts (except one) on both sides of the family are homemakers. I have aunts who used to be nurses, company secretaries, auditors, medical doctors, and hairdressers. All of them gave up their careers in order to stay at home with their children.
94. This will come as a shock to all you dog lovers out there — I don't like dogs. Heck, I don't trust them. Even if the owner tells me the dog is just being friendly, I cringe and try to avoid the jumping paws and lolling tongue.
95. What happened to make me fear dogs this much? Well, firstly, I was bitten when I was in primary school. One day, I was cycling down the lane to my house, when one of the neighbours' dogs calmly walked up to me and took a chunk out of my bum FOR NO GOOD REASON. It didn't even warn me by barking first!
96. Secondly, the next-door neighbour's dogs one day burrowed under our fence, got into our compound, and tore apart our rabbit cage. They killed one of my white fluffy rabbits. When I got to the other one, who was huddling by the far side of the opposite fence, the poor thing was trembling with fright. So you can't really blame me for disliking dogs, can you?
97. I've never been on a rollercoaster and don't intend to ever go on one. I also don't have to prove that I'm adventurous, thank you very much.
98. People have told me I tend to smile a lot. Back in college, one of my lecturers nicknamed me "Smiley".
99. Another lecturer once thought I was laughing at him in class and stopped teaching, demanding instead to know what was making me smile. The rest of the class started grinning because they knew it was simply my habitual expression. That strange lecturer said he wouldn't continue the class until we told him what was going on, then stormed out. He came back 10 minutes later and continued teaching as if nothing had ever happened. Weird!
100. But I do like looking at people and grinning in a mischevious way because it makes them wonder what I'm up to... even if I'm not up to anything! Hehehe.